Every night? Once a month? Or somewhere in the middle? Science has its say…
Some people are fine with the amount of sex they get and some think they should be getting a whole lot more. A few men even think their partners demand too much sex and secretly wish they’d take up knitting or something.
On the whole, most men probably think they could handle a bit more sex than they’re getting, though every man, and every relationship, is different.
But science has something to say about it too. According to the latest research, most of us are happy if we think we’re having more sex than the neighbours, however much we actually have.
Read on to discover more.
More than next door
According to the new study, having more sex than your neighbours can make you happy. Professor Tim Wadsworth, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Colorado, analysed data from over 15,000 people and found that respondents who had sex at least two to three times a month were 33 percent more likely to report a higher level of happiness than those who’d had no sex during the previous 12 months.
Other findings were similarly obvious. Professor Wadsworth found that the more sex people had, the happier they tended to be, even when factors like income, marital status, health and age had been taken into account.
But the more surprising finding was this. Even people who had reasonable amounts of sex reported lower levels of happiness if they thought they were having less sex than their peers.
Conversely, people who thought they were having more sex than their peers reported higher levels of happiness, even if – in the great scheme of things – they weren’t having that much sex.
“There’s an overall increase in the sense of wellbeing that comes with having sex more frequently, but there’s also this relative aspect to it,” said Professor Wadsworth. “Having more sex makes us happy, but thinking that we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier.”
Once a week
But how do you find out how much sex other people are having? Through social networks, says Professor Wadsworth, both on- and off-line. Then there are frequent media polls and even the gossip down the pub. Through these means we build up an idea of how much sex someone in our situation might be expected to have. If we beat the average, we’re happy.
But for the good of your own relationship, how much sex should men be having (assuming your personal answer is not just “more than them next door”)? Experts put the usual proviso on this information: every relationship is different, they say, and the amount of sex you need is the amount that makes both partners happy.
But one or two have put their heads above the parapet and tried to quantify just how much sex most of us should expect, if we’re in a sexual relationship.
Sex and relationship expert Dr Gail Saltz, for instance, has said this about sexual frequency: “If your sex drives are out of balance, your aim is to meet in the middle, having sex a bit more than one partner likes but probably a bit less than the other likes.”
In other words, both partners should compromise to get to a level of sexual frequency that suits their relationship.
Sex councillor Ian Kerner is even more specific: “While there may be no one right answer to the question of how often couples should have sex, lately I’ve been less equivocal and (started) advising couples to try to do it at least once a week. That’s because I believe that sex ruts are becoming epidemic.”
Pencilling in sex at least once a week means sex becomes a habit, something you fit in however busy or stressed you are. Once a week means you’ll get all the health and wellbeing benefits, too. But remember, Kerner says “at least” once a week. So the more you have the better.
How much sex do people have?
Most experts agree that the amount of sex you have will depend on you and your relationship, and that the ideal frequency is tricky to pin down.
But they do know how much sex most of us are having, on average.
Research suggests that for married couples under 30 years of age the frequency (on average) is about twice a week. For married couples between the ages of 50 and 59, the frequency is about once a week. In the intervening years the frequency is somewhere between the two.
Those figures don’t tell us if everybody is happy with that amount of sex, and of course it only covers married couples. People also tend to have more sex in the early stages of a relationship and less later on.
But the average does suggest that a natural sexual frequency is something like once or twice a week in a committed, long term relationship.
Many couples will be happy with less, and others will be at it every night, but if you’re up with the average at least you can say this: your neighbours are unlikely to be having much more sex than you, and may be having less. So you can stop stressing about what’s happening next door and start enjoying what’s happening in your own bedroom.
Ugandan Millenials are Ghosting out of Relationships
By Staff Writer
Gone are the days when boyfriends and girlfriends would sit down and agree to end a relationship. Now, Ugandan millenials have changed the trends. They are just ghosting.
According to research, Ugandan couples no longer suffer with breakup lines. “He simply stops talking to you. He stops replying your messages. Then you just figure out that the relationship is done,” says one of the victims of ghosting.
According to older generations, ghosting is a cowardly way of ending relationships. But it turns out millenials are also ghosting at jobs. “You employ them, they work for some months then they just stop showing up. Next thing you know they moved on to another job. It is unprofessional,” says a human resource director.
Let us hear from you. Have you been ghosted? Have you ghosted before?
How to Attract the Opposite Sex Effortlessly
Do you want to know how you can become more attractive to the opposite gender and catch all the attention? Grooming tips and great clothes can make you look good, but to be attractive to others around you requires something completely different. Find out here.
Nothing is as attractive as someone who is completely comfortable with the way they look and who they are. Believe in yourself and that you are worth everything that comes your way.
View the glass as half full. Compliment and remind yourself to do it and you’ll see the results in no time. The ability to see the good in everything not only makes your life easier, it gives a spring in your step and adds to your charm.
Forget about your diet at least one day in a week and treat yourself to some creamy Belgian dark chocolate ice cream. Step out from under your umbrella and dance in the rain. The ability to let loose and not worry about the reactions of others makes you shine.
Keep an Active Social Life
We are, as a species, social in nature. We love to be with our fellow humans and take great pleasure in social groups, so throw off those comfy tracks and go out no matter how tired or lazy you feel. Once you get there, the fatigue will vanish, leaving you with a sparkle in your eye. Seeing someone having fun with their friends is hot!
Don’t Think About the Competition
It’ll just bring you down. People tend to underestimate themselves, which is good in a few ways, but always keep in mind that you have a few traits that no one else has, and this sets you apart.
It’s scientifically proven that smiling and laughing release endorphins that make you feel happier. Not only does it give you a mood booster but it makes you look more approachable and not intimidating in the least, so people will be more open to coming up to you.
You have to leave the opposite gender guessing. That’s part of the fun and leaves them wanting more.
Be Able to Laugh at Yourself
Whether you have spinach in your teeth or whether you fell down the stairs, if you stop and think about it, it is funny. So laugh and watch how many people warm up to you.
Make “Me Time”
Everyone needs to spend at least half an hour a day by themselves. Meditate, reflect on the day or just relax. It’ll do you a world of good. Deal with all your work beforehand and spend some time by yourself before you turn in, so you can fall asleep and wake up with a sunny, happy aura that others would love to share.
You see, being an attractive person with loads of sex appeal is easy, as long as you remember that it is more about yourself, your happy aura and your confidence than anything else.
The Top 12 Qualities Men Want in a Woman
She is family oriented.
Before I get heat from people who say that not everyone is close to their family and that doesn’t make them a bad person or whatever – that goes without saying. Let’s keep in mind that I speak from my own perspective and to me, a woman who values both her and my family is important when considering a long term future. I’m sure most men who someday want a family of their own would agree with me.
She is kindhearted.
I’m not quite sure how to explain this one. I feel like just the word ‘kindhearted’ in itself gets the point across. A woman who is thoughtful. Loving. Caring. Who does small things for you for no other reason that she loves you (as you do for her). A woman who, when she smiles at you, gives you no choice but to smile back. A woman who radiates warmth from her heart. That is a woman a man would want to marry.
She is intellectually challenging.
There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?
When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone on that alone. Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics, will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.
She is understanding and empathetic.
Being compassionate, supportive, and encouraging towards your partner is a huge part of building a successful relationship. Nobody wants a person who is a “Debbie Downer” all the time and will not support them in their endeavors or their times of need. Life is full of challenges that any couple will face together, particularly a married couple. Sometimes men need a shoulder to cry on, too.
She is ambitious.
In addition to supporting and encouraging you pursuing your own goals and dreams, she will have her own as well. A mature woman has a vision for her future and chases after it with voracity.
A mature woman will be someone you can take on the world with. A partner in crime, a teammate in your relationship, and in life.
She is consistent.
Being consistent is a valuable virtue because it lets your partner know that you really are who you are. You haven’t sent your “representative” to get to know them during the first couple of months of dating, but then suddenly transform once they’ve committed themselves to you.
To clarify the point, think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If someone is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how they will be acting towards you on a certain day, and that gets old no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.
She is willing to put in effort for you.
I am all about giving in relationships. I believe seeing your significant other happy should also make you happy – but it is important to understand that it goes both ways.
Her putting in effort doesn’t have to be much. It can be something as simple as slipping the waiter her debit card to pay for dinner. It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off of longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it – and neither should she.
If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, even after she got you a long time ago, it shows she cares about keeping you around.
Side note: Equally as important is to make sure both teammates always show the other their appreciation for this effort. Feeling taken for granted can easily lead to resentment and other negative results in a relationship.
She holds similar values as you.
This is often an extension of the family-oriented point in the beginning, because many times our value system comes from our upbringing. The things we find important (or not), the things we believe in strongly (or not), the way we treat others, and ourselves. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or even how well you get along, if your values don’t align, you will always be clashing in the long term.
Sorry, but it has to be said. The good news is, every man is attracted to a different type of woman and has his own personal tastes. Meaning, I am in no way suggesting a woman has to fit a certain image of ‘beauty’ in order to be considered ‘wife material.’ But, as is true for both men and women, there needs to be a physical attraction between two partners to kick off a relationship, which also plays an important part in holding it together.
She is friendly and sociable.
I know, at least for me, I enjoy being social and I love having my girlfriend by my side. So, naturally, we will find ourselves together out at events or even just bumping into people at a restaurant or bar. No man wants to be worried about the attitude his girlfriend or wife is going to give to the friend he is trying to introduce her to. He doesn’t want her to turn up her nose or be short with them – it is important that as his teammate in life, she is his teammate in all areas of life.
It is important for a couple to be able to be playful and joke around with each other. It helps lighten the mood, makes extended periods of time together more fun, and laughing together never gets old.
She is loving and affectionate.
This is more of a bonus point. It may not need to be said, because a few of the points above just direct back to someone being loving in general, anyway. But, I think it’s important to state just the same.
For me, affection is important. Holding hands, hugs, just being physically close together. It symbolizes a connection. It’s a warm, loving feeling, and I would have a hard time building a long-term relationship with a woman who shrugs off your arm when you put it around her or always feels ‘separate’ from me.
Needless to say, every man likely has a different ‘checklist’ for what he is looking for in the woman that he would consider potentially making his wife someday, but my instinct tells me one would be hard-pressed to find a guy who didn’t agree with the points listed here.
HOT RIGHT NOW
- Featured5 days ago
Bebe Cool Defeats Bobi Wine in Hoima
- Celebrity Gossip2 days ago
MC Mariachi, Maureen Nantume Banned from the US For 10 Years
- Celebrity Gossip2 days ago
Video: Gospel singer Katalina returns in “Save My Soul”
- Celebrity Gossip3 days ago
Swangz Avenue considering terminating violent Nwagi
- Celebrity Gossip1 day ago
I dated Sheilah Gashumba because I was young – Fik Fameica
- Celebrity Gossip3 days ago
Rich Love: Don Nasser welcomes fellow tycoon Sk Mbuga back home
- Celebrity Gossip3 days ago
Uganda based South Sudanese Star Warchild Bezzy Wins Collabo With Diamond Platinumz
- Celebrity Gossip4 days ago
Video: Jazmine, Face Off release Akaaba