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EARTHQUAKE Breaks Ugandan Girls’ Virginity

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EarthquakeIt was a sad moment when an earthquake of sorts or to be precise, a tremor passed around the grounds of Uganda. The Virgin Ugandan girls were heard wailing and sobbing about the nasty ordeals they went through.

Girls from as far as Makerere University were heard uttering out statements like: “Just lost my virginity because of the earthquake.” Others almost lost it and were heard complaining: “”Eh this earthquake almost broke ma virginity!”

According to the police spokesperson, the Musisi must have been a man because of its magnitude. Some girls from Kyambogo lost their beauty, girls in Mbarara lost their hips while girls in Gulu had bleached faces.

However, the puzzling factor is the question concerning the kind of virginity that was broken. Most of the girls complained of losing their tertiary virginity, others complained of lost secondary virginity while a few complained of losing their primary virginity. Some girl was heard celebrating… “Ohhh God I survived, I don’t want to lose my virginity again.”

The earthquake had beats similar to Captain Dollar’s Emeese and Obubadi songs. Back at Ortega Ian’s home, his family hen ended up laying the same egg twice because of this tremor. BigEye.ug would like to pass on its condolences to those girls that lost their virginities for the hundredth time in a row. Because of the earthquakes, some men’s ATM cards delayed in the machine and thus could not take their boyfriends out. We hope the president can compensate the victims of this disaster.

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