“[katogoaward]”
By Conrad Segujja
1. You know your mother is a true Muganda if she has a drawer or a place for keeping paper bags after buying something in it.
2. You know your mother is a true Muganda if when she beats you up she says “okaaba kki nga sinaba nakukuuba?”
3. You know your mother is a true Muganda when she beats you with pauses; ani *slap* yakugamba *kick* okikole!*pinch* ”
4. You know your mother is a true Muganda if she has ever tried to remove anything that looks like dirt from your face with her saliva, even a birthmark.
5. You know your mother is true Muganda if after whipping you she threatens you with, “ate sikuwulira nga okaaba.”
6. You know your mother is a true Muganda If you accidentally break utensils made of glass she reacts with “menya…byona obimalewo.”
7. You know your mother is a true Muganda if she has special plates and cups for different guests.
8. You know your mother is a true Muganda when even after you’ve grown up, she still sits you down and plaits your hair.
9. You know your mother is a true Muganda if she ever told you “bwemba sinze maama wo…kigezeko.”
10. You know your mother is a true Muganda when you are Patrick/Brian, and she tells you “mugambe maama paatu yaakutumye” or “mugambe maama buula amutumidde.”
11. You know your mother is a true Muganda if she has a list of neighbours and relatives in whose homes you should never dare step into… “ate nkulabe ng’otwala yyo obugulu bwo.”
12. You know your mother is a true Muganda When she calls you from the bedroom to bring her something that is right there on the table.
14. You know your mother is a true Muganda if she threatens to hit you by actually hitting you!
15. You know your mother is a true Muganda when she buys you oversize (mwana akula) uniform and says “eyo ojakwambala paka lwonomala okusoma.”
16. You know your mother is a true Muganda if you do something wrong she says while whipping you “tukuba ddalu sigwe.”
17. You know your mother is a true Muganda if when invited to a party she brings you the entire menu and soda in a polythene bag /paper bag or borrowed container.