By Ian Ortega
You know those people who are like cult figures on Facebook. No one knows them that much in real-life but they command a celebrity status on Facebook. It’s like Facebook has propelled them to heights they’ve never thought possible. When you attack them on Facebook, you will face the wrath of their loyal friends and followers. Here are the Top Ten (10) Ugandan Facebook Celebs.
1. Joram kawira Lovins: His life stories are always full of humour and very original. He posts these as his status updates. He can attack anyone but always in a comical way. For Kawira, it seems girls like his updates before he even clicks post. When BigEye.ug began sharing his updates very few knew that much about him and he was scared about the limelight, as we speak, he is more popular than many Ugandan music artistes, he is now attached to the Laftaz comedians group after Prince Ehmah scouted him out. His biggest inspiration is his drunkard friend-Pok-Ot Ivan who inspires him to post silly, funny updates.
2. David Genesis: Call him the king of Luganda real life stories. He is the only guy on Facebook who can post a complete status update in Luganda and manage to get over 40 likes and 100 comments. Little is known about him except that he is a great enemy of Bebe Cool and has a daughter called Nakaliisa that Simon (Joram kawira’s son) would like to marry.
3. Richard Kleberson: The Gagamel Soldier and Bebe Cool fanatic commands his crowd. He rarely posts but when he posts, even if it’s a ‘fullstop’ girls and boys will rush to like and comment on his update. His timeline is full of Bebe Cool and Gagamel related information and adverts.
4. Tom Okwalinga: The government was even forced to request Facebook to reveal his true identity, a request that Facebook turned down. He is a rabid critic of the government and keeps on releasing the Ugandan insider information aka ugaleaks. He is currently the most followed anonymous figure on Facebook, a clone of Radio Katwe, he always has hot updates for every day.
5. Chris Lovins and His Sister: Chris Lovins and his sister Rachael are some of the most followed personalities on Facebook. Though sources reveal that Lovins became born again and toned down on his sexual innuendo posts, he did not lose his sense of humour. His sister on the other hand has a pulp of fans that always look forward to her posts and birthday parties. If you were to interview 10 random Facebookers, at least 3 of them would know about Chris Lovins and the sister.
6. Kaddu Yusuf: He was expelled from the Seminary but he is still in love with the Catholic Church as some of his status updates show. However, that’s not what makes him popular; he has stories that keep you glued to the next episodes. He writes some of them in series, e.g the drunkard season one. If he were to exchange his real life for the Facebook life, he would be the headlines in the gossip pages.
7. Pirez Young Dimes: Pirez Young Dimes is so popular that he even has a secret Facebook group named after him known as PYDF. Together with his girlfriend Nakubulwa Farie, they are one of the most popular couples on Facebook and they have kept their relationship for long. PYDF as a Facebook group organizes weekly parties, house-parties and football tournaments with other secret groups which you can’t find in your search results.
8. General Sweetman and Miley Tasha: Though the two have now faded and moved into serious business, they are still some of the occult-like figures on Facebook. At the time of his peak, Sweetman had girls send him phone numbers, directions to their homes and would request him to at least give them a kiss. He is now an entrepreneur, even though he still attracts over 50 likes on his Facebook updates just like his ex, Miley Tasha.
9. The Ssengas and Kojjas on Facebook: These ones are so popular because they teach the Facebookers about sex, they are so many that we can’t list down all the popular ones. They have helped connect singles and helped people improve their sex lives. However, some are crooks who are looking for horny men to devour.
10. Shamora Collins: This one seals the list. Though he sometimes borrows ideas from some Nigerian pages, he always makes the jokes identify with Ugandans and refines them to the Ugandan audience. However, most of his jokes are original and will relieve one of stress. He is about to strike the peak of fame on Facebook.
11. Roset Angel With-sin: This is actually a man running a Facebook account as a lady according to reliable sources. She’s popular because she potrays the image of a hooker online and posts nude photos of herself (photos got from Nigerian porn websites). It is believed that because of his trade, he/she has managed to grow to financial stability. Other sources, however, believe she’s a daughter of one of the popular member of parliaments who’s lucky to have been born into a rich family. She’s the only lady on Facebook who can talk of ‘come fuck my pussy’ and get away with it.