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You thought you were doing pretty great, didn’t you? You felt that this relationship was going to be the one that would actually last till the end. You were so sure that this person was the one! You really thought this was special, that this was different. You really thought they wouldn’t be like all the others. So when that person actually broke up with you, when that relationship along with all your hopes and dreams came crashing down, and when that one person you loved and trusted the most in the world just decided to tear your heart apart into tiny little pieces, then you might have ended up being a little shocked to say the least.
But no matter how much you deny it, no matter how much you drive yourself crazy trying to come up with reasons over why it all happened and no matter how shocking the whole situation feels at the moment, the fact of the matter still remains that breakups rarely happen so randomly and out of the blue. They rarely come without any warning signs whatsoever. And they are rarely so hard to predict. There are always signs, some subtle and some not so subtle ones, before it finally happens. So if you want to avoid all the shock and maybe even beat your partner to it, look out for these signs that your partner is probably going to break up with you soon:
1. Their behavior has changed
All of us go through tough times in life; the times when we don’t feel like ourselves anymore, the times when all human interaction feels forced and unnecessary, and the times when we get so disconnected even from the people we love most. But if someone’s behavior with you changes too drastically for an uncannily long period of time and without any obvious reason, then it is likely that the problem isn’t just their life.
Such a behavioral change can come in various forms that you might have never experienced with them before. They might become very passive-aggressive or they might reduce their communication or they might even start excluding you from all their plans. They don’t reply to your text messages or calls as quickly as they used to or they rarely show any kind of affection towards you, whether through technology or in person. Their responses to simple questions seem rude or agitated and their persona is just generally alienating towards you. You can’t even remember the last time they told you that they loved you.
So you try to rationalize it. You can come up with a thousand excuses to justify all their unreasonable actions. And you can make yourself believe that it’s just temporary. But at the back of your mind, you do know that’s just not true. You do know that things have gotten bad before but they have never gotten this weird, awkward and uncomfortable. Because of the way they’re acting, the distance you feel between the two of you, even when they’re right next to you, isn’t something you ever felt before. And you do know that something about their behavior is just unacceptably, and horribly wrong.
2. They have become emotionally distant
Now this one is hard to point out. The reason for this is that you can’t actually force someone or question a person over why they don’t say ‘I love you’ anymore or why they never talk about the way they actually feel with you or why they just don’t seem to let you in anymore. You realize that the cause behind their emotional detachment might not even be directly linked to you in any way. It might be because of some family problem, stress at work or some personal life crises. But the fact that they don’t feel like sharing their problems or feelings with you anymore is a cause for concern in itself. It may be a temporary phase where they don’t share, but if they continue to hide what goes on in their mind, it is definitely a warning sign.
It’s not like you haven’t tried. You’ve tried your hardest to be your absolute best around them, and not to give them any kind of extra stress in life. You’ve tried to ask them a thousand times over if you could help them in any way. You’ve tried to be their source of support in all the good times and the bad. You’ve tried to break through the indestructible wall that they’ve seemed to build around them but nothing seems to work. Nothing you say or do allows them to let you in.
And you can’t help but remember all the hard times you’ve faced together before. You remember everything like it was just yesterday. You remember that no matter how bad their life was going, no matter what amount of stress they had and no matter what kind of problems they were facing, you had always been the first person they talked to, the only person who could make them feel better, and the only person who had the ability to relieve all their stress! So this new indifference of theirs just leaves you wondering a ton of questions: Why am I unable to make them feel better? Why don’t they just open up to me? Am I not that person for them anymore?
3. They are always angry
Every couple unavoidably has fights and arguments. Yes, it’s perfectly healthy and normal. Most of those fights actually end up strengthening your relationship. But you have to be very careful with keeping this outlook over all your fights. You have to analyze and decide if your fights are actually happening because your partner truly cares or if they just keep happening because of your partner’s unreasonable irritation towards you. If you feel like your partner is always looking for a reason to fight, if everything that comes out of your mouth seems to annoy them and drive them crazy, and if they are always starting pointless arguments only to leave them hanging in the middle, then this kind of situation is definitely not normal. Their constant angry behavior might be the result of some resentment they feel towards you or the relationship in general or maybe it’s just a result of the guilt they feel because of the impending breakup.
But all their anger and all their indifference didn’t ever break you down. You tried to talk it out. You tried to come up with reasons in your head on why they might be acting this way. You tried to be rational about it even when they were behaving their absolute worst. And you even took the blame and apologized for some things that weren’t your fault in the first place. But nothing you do, no amount of understanding, no amount of apologies, and no amount of talking has helped you get them back to normal or stop their unreasonable anger or made them realize their mistakes in any way.
4. They have started to maintain a physical distance
Physical affection in a relationship is a reflection of how you feel about your partner, inside. This is especially true in the first few months of your relationship when you two could never keep your hands off each other in private, and when you always seemed to be looking for reasons to touch each other even when you were in other people’s company. This is the time when every couple’s emotions are running high, and their feelings of lust even higher. But the actual test comes after these first few months. Will you be able to maintain that level of intimacy even when your relationship has passed some time? Will you still look at each other in that same loving way even when the initial excitement of having this new person in your life has ended? Do you still look for reasons to touch each other all the time? Can you still feel the kind of passion for each other that you always felt in the very beginning?
If the answer to all the above questions is a straight no, if the physical distance between you has grown as much as the emotional one, and if you’ve noticed that your partner never even holds your hand anymore, let alone initiate sex, then something is horribly wrong. You’ve tried to confront them about it. You’ve tried to switch things around in the bedroom. You’ve tried to come up with all sorts of ideas just to re-ignite the spark you had in the start. And you’ve tried desperately to get their interest back in any way possible and by all means necessary. But you’ve failed at almost everything! And even after all these efforts and all this desperation, if you still feel like things have reached the point where you can’t remember the last time you shared a truly intimate moment together, then your partner has definitely lost interest. Either they’re cheating on you or they’re ready to just leave
5. They’ve become indifferent
When you’re in a relationship, you go through all sorts of experiences together. You love to the point of no return, you kiss like it might be the last time and you even have horrible fights where you’re left wondering if you’ll make it through. But the difference between all those previous fights and what you’re experiencing right now is clearer than crystal! All those fights were always a result of your unending love and passion for each other. All those fights, no matter how bad they got, still made you feel like this person cares very deeply about the relationship. And all those fights were always the ones that eventually brought you two even closer together. But this one’s not like that, is it? This isn’t even a fight. You thought this was a temporary rough patch but it can hardly even be called temporary anymore. This is something more, something even worse than the horrible fights, something that makes your stomach tie up into knots, and something that makes you question how or whether you both will ever be able to come out of this stronger.
So just take out some time and think about it! If your relationship has reached a point where you feel like you’re the only one who loves, the only one who wants to kiss and the only one who even wants to fights, then your partner probably doesn’t really care anymore. They don’t care about where this relationship is going. They don’t care about how horrible all their actions are making you feel. They don’t care if all of the time, efforts and commitment which you both placed into this relationship just go to waste. They don’t care enough to resolve the problems. They don’t even care if you stick around! And maybe, just maybe, that was actually the plan all along, the plan to just drive you to a point of no return, to make you the sole decision maker in this breakup, and to ultimately end up feeling less guilty about it all.
6. The little moments are gone
They don’t agree to go for long walks together anymore. They don’t look for reasons to constantly touch you. They never call you just to let you know how much they miss you. They don’t surprise you with your favorite chocolates anymore. They don’t plan or execute any new and exciting things for you both to try out together. They don’t act like their crazy, goofy self just to see you smile, the smile they always promised they would be the reason for. And they’re not interested in spending a whole day cuddling and just talking in bed. All these little moments, the moments that brought you closer together, the moments that defined the true beauty of your relationship and the moments that had kept the spark alive before, have been long gone.
When someone has stopped making that extra effort, when they’ve stopped putting in any thought towards the relationship, when they’ve stopped trying to make things special, and when they’ve stopped doing the little things that matter and bring you true happiness, then they probably feel like they have very little stakes left in keeping this relationship alive and running. There probably isn’t much that’s stopping them from leaving right this very minute. And sadly enough, it’s just a matter of time when even their mere presence in your life will only be a memory to you!
Ugandan Millenials are Ghosting out of Relationships
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By Staff Writer
Gone are the days when boyfriends and girlfriends would sit down and agree to end a relationship. Now, Ugandan millenials have changed the trends. They are just ghosting.
According to research, Ugandan couples no longer suffer with breakup lines. “He simply stops talking to you. He stops replying your messages. Then you just figure out that the relationship is done,” says one of the victims of ghosting.
According to older generations, ghosting is a cowardly way of ending relationships. But it turns out millenials are also ghosting at jobs. “You employ them, they work for some months then they just stop showing up. Next thing you know they moved on to another job. It is unprofessional,” says a human resource director.
Let us hear from you. Have you been ghosted? Have you ghosted before?
How to Attract the Opposite Sex Effortlessly
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Do you want to know how you can become more attractive to the opposite gender and catch all the attention? Grooming tips and great clothes can make you look good, but to be attractive to others around you requires something completely different. Find out here.
Nothing is as attractive as someone who is completely comfortable with the way they look and who they are. Believe in yourself and that you are worth everything that comes your way.
View the glass as half full. Compliment and remind yourself to do it and you’ll see the results in no time. The ability to see the good in everything not only makes your life easier, it gives a spring in your step and adds to your charm.
Forget about your diet at least one day in a week and treat yourself to some creamy Belgian dark chocolate ice cream. Step out from under your umbrella and dance in the rain. The ability to let loose and not worry about the reactions of others makes you shine.
Keep an Active Social Life
We are, as a species, social in nature. We love to be with our fellow humans and take great pleasure in social groups, so throw off those comfy tracks and go out no matter how tired or lazy you feel. Once you get there, the fatigue will vanish, leaving you with a sparkle in your eye. Seeing someone having fun with their friends is hot!
Don’t Think About the Competition
It’ll just bring you down. People tend to underestimate themselves, which is good in a few ways, but always keep in mind that you have a few traits that no one else has, and this sets you apart.
It’s scientifically proven that smiling and laughing release endorphins that make you feel happier. Not only does it give you a mood booster but it makes you look more approachable and not intimidating in the least, so people will be more open to coming up to you.
You have to leave the opposite gender guessing. That’s part of the fun and leaves them wanting more.
Be Able to Laugh at Yourself
Whether you have spinach in your teeth or whether you fell down the stairs, if you stop and think about it, it is funny. So laugh and watch how many people warm up to you.
Make “Me Time”
Everyone needs to spend at least half an hour a day by themselves. Meditate, reflect on the day or just relax. It’ll do you a world of good. Deal with all your work beforehand and spend some time by yourself before you turn in, so you can fall asleep and wake up with a sunny, happy aura that others would love to share.
You see, being an attractive person with loads of sex appeal is easy, as long as you remember that it is more about yourself, your happy aura and your confidence than anything else.
The Top 12 Qualities Men Want in a Woman
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She is family oriented.
Before I get heat from people who say that not everyone is close to their family and that doesn’t make them a bad person or whatever – that goes without saying. Let’s keep in mind that I speak from my own perspective and to me, a woman who values both her and my family is important when considering a long term future. I’m sure most men who someday want a family of their own would agree with me.
She is kindhearted.
I’m not quite sure how to explain this one. I feel like just the word ‘kindhearted’ in itself gets the point across. A woman who is thoughtful. Loving. Caring. Who does small things for you for no other reason that she loves you (as you do for her). A woman who, when she smiles at you, gives you no choice but to smile back. A woman who radiates warmth from her heart. That is a woman a man would want to marry.
She is intellectually challenging.
There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?
When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone on that alone. Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics, will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.
She is understanding and empathetic.
Being compassionate, supportive, and encouraging towards your partner is a huge part of building a successful relationship. Nobody wants a person who is a “Debbie Downer” all the time and will not support them in their endeavors or their times of need. Life is full of challenges that any couple will face together, particularly a married couple. Sometimes men need a shoulder to cry on, too.
She is ambitious.
In addition to supporting and encouraging you pursuing your own goals and dreams, she will have her own as well. A mature woman has a vision for her future and chases after it with voracity.
A mature woman will be someone you can take on the world with. A partner in crime, a teammate in your relationship, and in life.
She is consistent.
Being consistent is a valuable virtue because it lets your partner know that you really are who you are. You haven’t sent your “representative” to get to know them during the first couple of months of dating, but then suddenly transform once they’ve committed themselves to you.
To clarify the point, think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If someone is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how they will be acting towards you on a certain day, and that gets old no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.
She is willing to put in effort for you.
I am all about giving in relationships. I believe seeing your significant other happy should also make you happy – but it is important to understand that it goes both ways.
Her putting in effort doesn’t have to be much. It can be something as simple as slipping the waiter her debit card to pay for dinner. It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off of longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it – and neither should she.
If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, even after she got you a long time ago, it shows she cares about keeping you around.
Side note: Equally as important is to make sure both teammates always show the other their appreciation for this effort. Feeling taken for granted can easily lead to resentment and other negative results in a relationship.
She holds similar values as you.
This is often an extension of the family-oriented point in the beginning, because many times our value system comes from our upbringing. The things we find important (or not), the things we believe in strongly (or not), the way we treat others, and ourselves. It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or even how well you get along, if your values don’t align, you will always be clashing in the long term.
Sorry, but it has to be said. The good news is, every man is attracted to a different type of woman and has his own personal tastes. Meaning, I am in no way suggesting a woman has to fit a certain image of ‘beauty’ in order to be considered ‘wife material.’ But, as is true for both men and women, there needs to be a physical attraction between two partners to kick off a relationship, which also plays an important part in holding it together.
She is friendly and sociable.
I know, at least for me, I enjoy being social and I love having my girlfriend by my side. So, naturally, we will find ourselves together out at events or even just bumping into people at a restaurant or bar. No man wants to be worried about the attitude his girlfriend or wife is going to give to the friend he is trying to introduce her to. He doesn’t want her to turn up her nose or be short with them – it is important that as his teammate in life, she is his teammate in all areas of life.
It is important for a couple to be able to be playful and joke around with each other. It helps lighten the mood, makes extended periods of time together more fun, and laughing together never gets old.
She is loving and affectionate.
This is more of a bonus point. It may not need to be said, because a few of the points above just direct back to someone being loving in general, anyway. But, I think it’s important to state just the same.
For me, affection is important. Holding hands, hugs, just being physically close together. It symbolizes a connection. It’s a warm, loving feeling, and I would have a hard time building a long-term relationship with a woman who shrugs off your arm when you put it around her or always feels ‘separate’ from me.
Needless to say, every man likely has a different ‘checklist’ for what he is looking for in the woman that he would consider potentially making his wife someday, but my instinct tells me one would be hard-pressed to find a guy who didn’t agree with the points listed here.
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