It’s common for millennials to feel the pressure of finding a balance between career and family, and it’s sparked numerous conversations about how our society has changed over the past few decades. In the days of Mad Menand, for some, watching the way our parents did it, it’s clear to see that times are changing, and a new mentality has come to surface. Back in the day, couples got married right out of college, the husband went off to a full-time career, and the wife started having kids. However, with an increased cost of living, less job stability, and the emergence of new global industries like the booming tech and start-up worlds, there’s no longer a set road map by which to spend your young adult years.
Women are going full-speed after careers of their dreams, couples are taking more time to get to know one another, and themselves, before walking down the aisle, and the lines have been seriously blurred as to what makes for an “appropriate” age to start a family. If you’ve been on the fence and aren’t sure if procreating, at least not right now, is for you, here are five signs you might not be ready to have children.
1. You’re constantly on the move
If you enjoy a globe-trotting lifestyle and can’t seem to stay in the same place for more than a few weeks at a time, then baby beware. This probably isn’t news to you, but babies typically offer up several road bumps when it comes to traveling. Sure, you might be lucky enough to birth a child who never cries, doesn’t risk catching germs, and is a readily-born traveling tot. But you could also win the lottery.
2. You and your partner are having relationship issues
While no relationship is perfect, and everyone goes through rocky times, having a baby isn’t the answer. Sure, if you’re already trying to conceive and are having issues, the process might cause unwanted friction between you and your partner, but that’s not what we’re talking about here; the number of married women ages 15 to 44 who are unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex with their husband is 1.5 million.
We’ve all heard the common misconception that some people decide to have a kid because they believe it will make their relationship stronger and all their problems will fade into the abyss. But honestly, do you think bringing a child into an unstable family unit will really solve any problems? If you thought your relationship was difficult before, try dealing with your previous issues, along with the new challenges that come with having to raise another human being, all while you’re sleep-deprived and covered in throw up.
3. You enjoy eating in peace and value time to yourself
If you often find yourself enjoying long, leisurely meals, either with your friends or by yourself, then it might not be your time to reproduce. And, while introverts can make great parents, if you’re someone who truly wants, enjoys, and most importantly, needs that ever-so-necessary alone time, then you should probably think twice before tossing that birth control in the trash.
4. You’re not financially prepared
Breaking news: Raising kids is expensive! You’re probably already aware of the major undertaking that is having a child, but have you really thought about just how much you might have to give up? Your hobbies, luxuries, or any of the other unessential expenses of your lifestyle might have to take a back seat during your child-rearing years. According to information from the U.S. Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion, featured in the same story, providing for a child will run you about $12,600 to $14,700 per year, which will only continue to rise as the child grows up. Factor in dance classes, summer camp, prom dresses, basketball tournaments, and everything in between, and you’ll soon be burning some serious holes in your pockets.
5. You just don’t want to
In life, there are many things you’ve not wanted, or will not want to do, but must. As an adult, you realize the weight of your consequences. You might not want to stick to a diet, but you do, because you’re aware of the consequences of eating poorly. You don’t want to go to work one day, but you do, because you know you can’t afford not to. You might not want to attend a family reunion, but you do, because you know just how much it will mean to your elderly grandparents. These are all fairly obvious situations where you have not wanted to do something, but did it anyway because you knew the outcome would in some way benefit you or your loved ones. Having a child, however, should never fall into this category. If you don’t want kids, don’t be afraid to say it. Be honest with yourself and with your partner. You will do yourself more harm than good in the long run, and doing so at the expense of a child isn’t reason enough.
Source: Cheatsheet.com