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Ten Reasons Princess Komuntale’s Marriage Failed to Last

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“[katogoaward]”

By Ian OrtegaKomuntale Ruth.

It’s now official; my Nokia phone battery has managed to last longer than the marriage of Princess Ruth Komuntale and Duke Christopher Thomas. I always had a feeling that this guy was a gangster, people from Missouri are always hard-core niggas, they run marriages like companies, they always spot the target and hit it. If only Komuntale had listened to me while at Aga Khan, if only she had awakened to my love and reciprocated it, she would not have landed this guy who apparently worked at the Discovery Channel, perhaps Komuntale was another of his discoveries.

So here are the ten reasons the marriage broke into pieces.

1. Komuntale Never Prepared For Marriage
If you observe everything clearly, you will realize that Queen Best Kemigisha spent more time with Oyo than with the Princess. Even at Aga Khan, sometimes, Komuntale would be forgotten at School only to be picked later. And the poor girl has been to Libya, and America all her life. She never got in touch with her Ssengas, she never got that super advice girls get before they get into marriage. If it had been a Muganda Princess, we can assure you, we would not be hearing such things about the marriage in public.

2. The Tooro Gods Were Annoyed
Last week, one of the most respected elders in Tooro told me, “either the Kingdom collapses or the marriage of the Princess does.” And it seems the gods would rather see a marriage collapse than the Kingdom. “Even in the will of the late King, it was clearly stipulated that none of the kids should marry an outsider,” says the elder. So there we went, at least a Kampala road managed to last longer than a marriage.

3. Thomas Could Not Satisfy the Princess
A Mutooro girl will suffer physical beatings but if a man cant translate these beatings into bed-ball beatings, then she will jump out of this marriage at the earliest opportunity. It is believed that Christopher Thomas suffers from pre-mature ejaculation and had never helped the Princess to reach orgasm. This is the number one reason Batooro girls cheat, they can’t stand weak men in bed. If Thomas was playing his bedroom roles to perfection, Ruth would never have cared about other things, neither would the Queen Mother have known.

4. Thomas Was Like a Parasite to the Whole Marriage
The Kingdom funded everything concerning their marriage, even the food they ate, the places they travelled to, they were all funded by the Kingdom. Men are always bound to act silly when they feel threatened as far as their roles are concerned. A man’s core roles are to protect and provide. But all these roles were taken away from Thomas. So, in order to prove he was the man in the house, he had to whip Ruth time and again.

5. Ruth saw more handsome, caring men
Now, of course yours truly is one of those handsome men, everyone can attest to this. Over the months, more handsome men increased in Uganda, Ruth saw all these handsome and caring men, men who could take you to the nicest places to party like crazy, men who could show you all the sex positions, men who had well-built bodies. When Ruth saw what she was missing, the plan was to opt out of this boring relationship.

6. Thomas saw more beautiful Batooro Girls
Banange, Ugandan girls have over-become bootyful, but Batooro girls have over become beautiful. When Thomas saw all this, he realized he could hook up a more beautiful mutooro chic. We must all agree, that except for her being a Princess, when it comes to beauty in Batooro, Komuntale is just the basic deal. We have these super beautiful batooro girls, wama Princess Juliana am I lying? So like any normal man, Thomas was leadeth into temptation, he had to translate his optical nutrition into bedroom nutrition.

7. Thomas Battered Ruth
Like seriously, you batter a Princess and you expect the marriage to last. How on earth? In fact because of this, the next time Thomas comes around, we shall flog him in the middle of the city centre. Omumbejja takubwa, newanywa esaada takubwa.

8. WTF Killed the Marriage
We live in an era of Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook aka WTF. The moment you begin updating us of every stage of your relationship on these platforms, we show you WTF. So this relationship was splashed before our faces, nga Ugandans can bewitch. Everyone began cursing, girls began wishing this whole thing could break up, dudes were also wishing they were Thomas, and Voila it broke up.

9. The Queen Mother Ran The Marriage Like Her Chess Board
It is believed that the Queen Mother was even present during the first sexual encounter of the two, arranging them on bed, showing the King where to put the pawn on the ‘Queen’s body. She would try out all the moves, she just played this marriage like a video game, for example, where the marriage had to go faster, the Queen Mother employed her expertise in need for Speed and the marriage went fast. She juggled everything in this relationship. Every married people need some breathing space and the Queen mother denied the two this space.

10. The Late Gadaffi was not happy
According to our Libyan sources, the late Muammar Gadaffi had left an order that when he dies, everyone who received his money should mourn for a minimum of 4 years. This had not happened in Tooro. And so the ghost kept haunting Thomas and Ruth. At one time while Thomas was going for Ruth’s Benghazi, he would hear doors closing themselves, water dripping and poor guy would get terrified and cum so quickly.

The writer wishes to note that all these are his philosophical reasons though they hold some water.

To contact him and pass on more reasons:
Email: ortian@gmail.com
Twitter: @OrtegaUganda
Facebook: www.facebook.com/­ianort
Whatsapp/Phone: +256788551121

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Celebrity Gossip

Irene Ntale, Lydia Jazmine & Lilian Mbabazi Evoke Demand For A Female Music Group In Uganda Again After Classy Performance At The Club Beatz At Home Concert

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By BigEyeUg Team; Songstresses Irene Ntale, Lydia Jazmine and Lilian Mbabazi are currently the talk around town after exhibiting a phenomenal performance at the Club Beatz At Home Grand Finale on Saturday.

In company of Ntale’s tremendous guitar lines, the ladies melodiously blended the performance beginning with Jazmine’s Nkubajja song, followed by Ntale’s Kyolowooza and Lilian’s Vitamin song.

Irene Ntale, Lydia Jazmine and Lilian Mbabazi.

Their performance climax was remarkable as they matched their sweet voices in a collective song dubbed ‘Simply the best’.

This performance has since prompted high appetite from the fans for a female music group again in Uganda.

Watch their performance here:

With such music qualities, we are sure the three would mend the torn female music group act in Uganda.

We will keep you posted

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I have great admiration for Iryn Namubiru – rising singer Ruth Myles Ngendo sets target as she ventures into commencial music

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By Reporter

Recently rising female singer dropped her latest video Matidde which has received a good reception and massive airplay on TV stations. Ruth Myles like many young singers also draws her inspiration from those she precedes.

Ruth Myles talking to the website has disclosed she has great admiration for Iryn Namubiru and we now see where her sharp pitched voice comes from. Ruth also anticipates furthering her career and aiming for top stop just like her music role model Iryn.

In Matidde, Ruth Myles Ngendo shows all intentions to mark her name among the top female singers in thr country, first with her angelic voice and also for her zeal to top chats with an enticing video.

Ruth Myles Ngendo is signed to gVisions Media, the distributors of her music. She was born in 1996 and has majored in RnB and Zouk music in Luganda and English. She started singing in 2017 and has done songs like Mpita and Obudde.

Watch Matidde here


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Celebrity Gossip

Kabs Haloha took me to BET – Sheila Gashumba

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By Reporter

Pencil thin former TV Presenter Sheila Gashumba who recently caused a storm in the media circles has since been narrating her struggles in the media. In her latest escapade, Sheila also revealed her former employers never took her to BET as earlier perceived. She instead narrated a long story of how her then fellow TV presenter Kabs Haloha who was then on a rival station got her a slot to the BET.

“My friend Kabs had been to Channel O and MTV just like me so he told me we needed to get to BET, I was wondering how we would make it but he made it possible” Sheila.

Gashumba and Kabs were great friends in their TV days before they both quit for greener ventures.


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Celebrity Gossip

Credit me only for my work – Star Fashion designer Abryanz tells fan who impersonates brand

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By Reporter

Renowned Fashionista Ahumuza Brian of Abryanz Collection and ASFAs has advised a fan to believe in their own designers in order to become as big as he is.

The fan who claimed to have been designed by Abryanz took to Twitter to blow his own trumpet but was humbled when he received a response from Abryanz denying any association with him.

The fan posted a picture of himself captioned,” Styled by Abryanz collections Nalooo ! Allow me present to you mwami Laban mu loo fit..” Only to be replied by Abryanz, “Your Real Stylist deserves that mention, it’s unfair for u to credit me for some job I never did.”

This has caused an uproar on the giant social media platform with many applauding Abryanz for his conduct and the spirit of appreciating your own he installed in the wannabe fan.


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