By Gidyon Da Prodigal
1. Mukwaya Hashim: You may not be familiar with him. He happens to be one of the people who so enjoy my posts that he comments on everything(that’s how I got to spy on him). This guy is as poor as the word itself. The rats in his crib once complained mbu they’ve never seen a guy as broke as him. A week later they all died of starvation.
2. Mpeera Winy: If money was Besigye, then automatically this lady would be M7. Zamwesaamba! I hear she’s now embarking on ‘gold-digging’ innocent chaps. Verily verily, I say unto you brethren, take heed, for she cometh to lie, de-tooth and run [KJV].
3. Joram Kawira Lovins: You may know his name but not his story and I don’t have enough space either for the whole tale. At the look of things though, there’s no business this chap has not tried out, but when poverty is your calling, nebwebakuwa obwongo bwa Frank Gashumba, oba ekyaapa kya world bank…
4. Nabitalo Mariam: It’s hard to find a broke pretty lady but Mariam has gone against all odds to break and make her record. Her fear for super markets has greatly increased since there is no bargaining in those shops.
5. Genesis David: He literally walks looking down just in case someone out there dropped a coin. You may ask, where does he get MBs if he got no money? Answer: those who know Genesis say mbu he used to be lousing around Kabuladda pub stalking for coke connect bottle tops, even coca cola knows about him. He’s lately working with TopTV as a presenter and doing great. Don’t get surprised if you find him in a new shirt one of these days. Trust me, he’s about to leave this list.
6. Joshua Luyonza: Commonly known as ‘Omugagga Omutto’ naye yasigaza linya. He’s one of the ‘ba summer’ whose pockects have been shrinking by day. A close source tipped me of a one chakale from Bugolobi called Mitchelle who’s been drilling oil out of the now poor boy’s already malnutrition-ed pockets….gavumenti, wah gwaan???
7. Me: I honestly don’t fit on this list but am just following the rules of engagement, to make it seem fair! Just! Some pips have now nicknamed me ‘ATM machine’ those things….
8. Makolo Kavuma: This vocal MP-to-be spends half of his days spying on which radio has a warid number so he can load pakalast and campaign from there…oba which constituency is he going to lead?!!
9. Van Data: Hehehe… The singer of the somewhat famous, ‘Oli muyaaye?’ song is soon going radio-active. Someone write him another ka-song please… Santana yamba…
10. Belle Sophy: With her Badblack attitude, I know she will refute these allegations or abuse me, but truth can’t be forever buried…Sophy is among the 76% of the population below poverty line in Uganda.
Editor’s Note: This list is purely fictional. You are responsible for taking it as factual.
“[katogoaward]”
