By Ian Ortega
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a Retard.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying to talk to you and you end up telephoning them at four in the morning.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you propose to a girl that you will run away from when sober.
[showmyads]
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you.
9. WARNING: The consumption of Alcohol may cause you to spill your secrets about how ugly you think your girlfriend is.
10. WARNING: The consumption of Alcohol may cause you to think you are superman and leave you with broken-legs.