Get used to being the chick on the side — that’s likely not going to change.
There are different ways we justify getting involved with a man who has other commitments. Putting all judgment aside, it’s best to weigh all sides of the issue and actually take a professional, non-biased look at the relationship you’re having and ask yourself if you truly think it’s going to end well.
First and foremost I want to make something clear. Men do leave their wives for other women. It happens very often. One could say you have a “fighting chance” if you’re the other woman. But then again, you’ve probably heard that from your friends already.
Let’s look at the reasons why you THINK he should leave her — and why he chooses to stay instead.
1. She’s gained 35 pounds over the years.
You know you look pretty hot compared to her! Why would he choose her instead? The reality here is that when someone falls in love truly and deeply, they see the other person with the eyes of their soul. Men don’t want to say these things out loud, but they are just as corny as most women.
Never-the-less, men can separate s*x from true feelings very easily. They’re programmed to look at a pretty face, and especially a hot body. For some, it’s such a temptation that they simply can’t resist.
But their wife is not in that category. Their wife, in their eyes, is the same woman they met twelve years ago, or twenty years ago. The attraction is on a deeper level. The connection was built over many rainy days, arguments, illness and family tragedy. He’s attracted to her soul. Being prettier and sexier won’t help you to win this game.
2. She doesn’t understand him.
Yes, it’s true. You’ll sit with him and watch hours of football, throw back shots of Patron and watch P0*n with him. You know what he likes! And he eats it up like it’s going out of style.
However, did you know he doesn’t really care that she won’t do these things with him? He won’t leave her for that. He knows in his heart that he can get his buddies to share most of those activities with him any day. And it’s a fair tradeoff, so he won’t have to go the mall or sit and watch a sappy romantic comedy with her.
But what if you know he really enjoys these activities with you, specifically? What heterosexual man wouldn’t enjoy his favorite buddy activities with a hot, sexy woman instead? This is just an opportune situation for him. He won’t walk out on his family for this. He’ll just milk it for as long as he can. You see, he never cared about that when he married her. He was used to having those side guy activities all his life. He wasn’t expecting it would change.
3. She nags him all the time.
In a long term relationship, a lot of women start to turn into their mothers. And, many times, they start mothering their men also. You know not to do that!
Unfortunately though, statistics show that most men who have a mother or sisters and later get married are “trained” by these ladies. They aren’t surprised to find lingerie hanging in the restroom, and they’re not surprised that their woman nags them about leaving their socks on the floor.
Men who understand women know all too well that we ALL nag, and if we aren’t nagging now, it’s because we haven’t been around him enough. He knows that as soon as you two share a complete life together and you get to see all his “sloppy dude sides,” you’ll nag just as much.
4. She uses the kids to keep him in the marriage or relationship.
I’ve heard this so often, but it stills astonishes me! You don’t think a man should have to stay out just because of the kids.
Wait a minute — of course she holds him responsible for his kids! This is the reason why he respects her on a level you have yet to understand as “the other woman.” A couple makes babies together and make a commitment to those children for life. It’s an unspoken vow that’s stronger than any marriage. The relationship of parent and child will precede and succeed anything else in his life. This woman merged blood, family, and went through hellish pain and agony to give him an heir or two, or more.
When he holds those children in is arms, there’s a deep gratitude and attachment in his heart that no one can ever break. He won’t stay with her because of the kids. He just feels he can’t leave her because of the kids. He wants his children to have the best possible family scenario, and he won’t destroy that possibility over hot s*x, booze and submissive behavior.
So now that you know the reasons why a man won’t leave his wife, you might just think that you actually want a man like that. A loving, committed, responsible man. He might fool around with you now, but when he comes to his senses, he will go right back in the nest that makes him feel like a real man.
Yes, many men cheat, and it’s sad. But studies show most cheaters stay with their wives anyway. You don’t want to keep a cheater. You want the one who won’t cheat, and if he does, he’ll have remorse, make amends and continue with his family. Don’t you deserve that too?
source: YourTango.com