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LETTER TO GOLOLA MOSES OF UGANDA

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By Pablo Yagayo

Dear Golola,

Congratulations upon defending your title as the East and Central African kickboxing champion after defeating Afande Titus Tugume, aka Hard Rock.

That fight was a manifestation that indeed your claims that you shop your groceries in a hardware shop are true. You must have drunk a jug of cement solution, nail pudding and munched some iron bars as dessert before storming the ring at Freedom City.

Rumour making the rounds in the corridors has it that after the fight that night, Tugume’s boss in the armed forces woke him up the next morning and asked him to mention his army number and he replied: “G.O.L.O.L.A M.O.S.E.S.”

You will be remembered in history, like your namesake the biblical Moses who broke all the Ten Commandments at once, as the only man who broke a hard rock with just a blow. Sports analysts believe that your punch weighed heavier than ten bags of cement and was as firm as a base beam.

I was told that your surname Golola in Luganda means “iron,” or “straighten” whereas in Lusoga it means, “go.” Basically you ironed, straightened and let go of your opponent with a knockout.

By the way, not everybody was excited about your victory. I met some boda boda cyclists arguing that Tugume must have been given large sums of money to be hammered and so it was just a gimmick to bring you back to the limelight. I don’t think a normal human being can accept to receive such a punch for the sake of money no matter the amount.

You very well know that this isn’t the first time they doubt your victory. It’s the same thing they alleged when you thumped a Sudanese Dinka, Abdul Qadia Rahim. They said he was never a kickboxer but a bus conductor from Arua park. Don’t allow such people to jeopardise your determination. All they are saying is just an opinion and as you very well know, an opinion is like a nose, everybody has one; it’s the size that differs.

Just asking, do you by any chance know where the coffin that was procured and paraded before the media as your final destination was hidden? Fate has a weird sense of humour. We need to put that coffin in the museum to remind us of a man who defied death and almost buried the procurement officer in it. I hope it’s not on sale somewhere at a serious discount since it’s now a muvumba (second hand) product.

My only concern at the moment is that we can’t handle the pain of paying at the gate and before you even locate a seat, you hear that the match has ended. It has happened twice now; first the Sudanese Dinka and now Afande Titus Tugume.

Next time, if you are sure that you are going to finish your opponent within a fraction of a second, please inform us in advance so that we spend the night at the venue like the Uganda Martyrs pilgrims. Also consider the referee’s job security. The man was paid to work; so, allow him some time to exhibit his skills lest they reduce his pay.

I tried calling your cell phone number but the lady kept saying that the call can’t go through because you had hung your clothes on the line. Since you claim to be the only man who can pocket while naked, you must have been somewhere naked and pocketing as you wait for the clothes to dry.

I don’t know if you like music but allow me to end by dedicating a few songs to you. The first is Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas, with emphasis on the chorus: “Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting, Those kicks were fast as lightning, In fact, it was a little bit frightening, But they fought with expert timing.”

The second is Coccodiosis by Bebe Cool, which goes: “I gat no time to play no game, Tomalira budde” and yes, Gangnam Style by PSY.

Yours in punches,
Pablo.

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Celebrity Gossip

Socialite Jack Pemba in wedding preparations

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Jack Pemba and fiancée Zainab

Businessman and socialite Jackson Akim Pemba aka Jack Pemba is set to tie knot with his fiancée Zainab.

This comes in days after he took to his socials and shared pictures of him and his girlfriend having a good time. The two are also seen in pictures with prominent people like Prince Wasajja which was later rumored that they were having wedding meetings.

Meanwhile a lot of friends and family members have come out to wish them well including Desire Luzinda.This she did in a video she shared on her social media platforms.

“I really want to wish you well my dear friend Pemba. When you sent me pictures of you and Zainab, I got so excited to realize that you finally found someone who can fully make you happy. I am so proud of mama Zainab and I look forward to the big day. I appreciate you Pemba for being one true friend.” Desire said.

However ,real date for the two love birds to tie the knot is not yet clear. Pemba is described as one with a big heart generosity because of his philanthropic ways.

We will keep you posted

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Famous Gagamel singer very ill

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By BigEyeUg Writer

Gagamel singer, Allan Masengere better known as Shortkut is battling for his life in hospital.

In a Facebook post, Bebe Cool who is the CEO Gagamel revealed that Shortkut has been in hospital for a month now and is seriously sick.

“My son Allan Masengere aka Shortkut, a young talent in the music industry of Uganda has been bed ridden for nearly a month now fighting for his life. Friends and family, your prayers are welcome. Get well in the name of Allah,” wrote Bebe Cool.

Shortkut

Shortkut is a very young artiste under Gagamel Entertainment and has done songs like Big Mouth though he has not found his breakthrough.

We wish him a quick recovery!

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Felicita Di Superstar’s family in eviction scare over rent arrears

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By BigEyeUg Writer

Female rapper Felista Di Superstar and her father are reportedly facing eviction over rent arrears.

Early this week, reports came in indicating that the “Nawambye” singer and her father received an ultimatum from their land lord that they should pay their arrears in two weeks or else they will be evicted.

Speaking in an interview, Felista’s landlord said that his patience is running thin after the pair defaulting on rent for 8 months. He stressed that he had earlier advised them to move to a cheaper house but they didn’t listen.

Felista’s family rents a 200k house. Their debt sums up to 1.6 Million. They have tried explaining to their landlord that everyone is going through some financial distress but this has fallen on deaf ears.

The youngster is a young female rapper being raised by a single father who supports her talent. She goes to Kampala Parents School.

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Video: Zahara Totto beaten by hubby, Big Papa before bitter split

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By BigEyeUg Team

The sudden breakup between NBS TV’s Zahara Totto and her boyfriend, Don Solomon Ugwu alias Big Papa (Oga) continue to surface with more secrets spilled regarding their one-year old relationship.

Issues seem not light at all as we may have earlier anticipated, for the motor-mouthed media personality after another video storming social media today showing a bitter fight between Zahara and now ex-boyfriend, Don Solomon.

In the video, the mother of four is seen ridiculously nagging and clinging to her boyfriend as she begs him not call it quits in their relationship.

She is later thumped to the ground continuously by Big Papa giving her no chance again in his life.

The fight is most-likely to have been a continuation of the leaked audio where Oga was hectically trying to conclude his affair with the ‘Uncut’ show host.

Watch video here;

We will keep you posted

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