By Ian Ortega
Have you seen these girls who make you doubt they’re Ugandan? In the morning, they have American accents, in the afternoon, they have British accents and in the evening while buying rolex or after the conductor denies them their change, their accent turns to pure Luganda, that one sewn with proverbs and sayings.
So here’s how to spot those wannabes, just pray you are not one of them or she’s not your girlfriend.
1. They adore big sun-glasses despite the weather. Whether sunny or windy, night or day, they will have their sun-glasses even in the night clubs.
2. They carry very big hand-bags. She can carry out your whole apartment in her bag starting from the tinny things like match-boxes to heavy things like micro-waves and extensions.
3. They are usually very beautiful but she will make sure her other friends are super ugly so that she can be spotted as out-standing.
4. They struggle to walk in stilettos and all types of high heels. Once in club, they take off the high heels and walk around bare-footed.
5. They attend club without any knickers in their dresses and skimpy outfits. This is done so that they can shake whatever their mother gave them without struggling.
6. They know every celebrity in town, when you talk about Bebe Cool, she will talk about Peter Miles.
7. They move with headsets in their heads pretending to be busy with their music yet will jump high when a bodaboda hoots.
8. They talk about expensive places they’ve never been to, like the Pyramids in Kampala, Pearl Restaurant at Serena etc.
9. They enjoy commenting on Facebook statuses just to bring about beef. When she reads that Ian Ortega updated his status saying he stays in Naalya, she will ask him to prove whether he owns the house. This is a strategy they use to spot their next prey.
10. They claim that hot and famous guys have tried to vibe them but they keep saying NO.
11. They just point at their house but they can never allow you to reach talking of strict parents. Truth be told, when they show you a mansion as their home, look around for the neighbouring house in poor condition, chances are, that is her real home.
12. Their favourite food when you ask them is: chicken biryani, lasagna, Marinated Chicken, Hot Sauce Wings but the fact is, her real favourite food is sweet potatoes, g-nuts and mukene.
13. They post nude photos on Facebook and follow up with religious status updates and complain about men hitting on them in their inbox.
14. She TyPes Lik3 cOz ACcoRDinq tO h3r fWinkInq itzzz V3wi PW33tY.=))
15. ADD MORE…. Doreen Kabareebe is watching.