There are lots of subtle flirting techniques to show someone you’re interested in them. Whether you’re attracted to a stranger on a train, a colleague, or one of your friends, there’s a signal for every occasion. Start off with non-risky, more subtle signals to build your confidence and help you move toward starting a conversation.
How to approach someone who’s attracted your attention
You’ve suddenly spotted someone across a crowded room, and want to let them know you’re interested. There are a number of techniques to help cultivate that all-important physical rapport.
An easy and non-risky signal to give is the eyebrow flash. A quick raising of the eyebrows is a non-sexual advance that works on both sexes. Eyebrow flashes are usually reciprocated if spotted, and this registers you as a friendly and approachable person.
Another way to show that you’re interested in someone is to use the four-second glance. Hold someone’s gaze for four seconds, look away, and then look back. It might sound like an unnervingly long time to look at someone, but any less than this might be interpreted as a casual (rather than meaningful) look.
The most attractive thing you can do to attract someone’s attention is simply to smile. People often list the smile as the most attractive feature about their partner. And it’s easy to see why. A genuine smile transforms your features and makes you seem like a fun, happy person to be around. Moody, meaningful gazes certainly have their place in the movies, but there’s a danger that you’ll look like you’re in a bad temper.
If things are progressing well you can start to subtly mirror the other person’s body language. Copying is the highest form of flattery, and this suggests that the two of you are sharing a connection. Position your body to mirror the stance of the other person, but make sure you don’t copy his or her every move – this might appear unnerving.
How to start and hold a great conversation
If it’s going well, the next step is to strike up and hold a sparkling conversation. Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s all in the words: your demeanour and body language reveal a lot about how you are feeling.
An easy way to appear more interesting is to appear really focused on the other person by tuning in to their speech and body language. By doing this, you come across as an engaging and thoughtful person to talk with. Show that you’re engaged in the conversation by nodding your head in agreement and following on from the theme of the conversation. Make sure that you pay as much attention to listening as talking.
One of the most important things to remember is to be positive. So think about your choice of language. Talking positively helps you to keep an open posture, attractive tone of voice and an animated, attractive facial expression. Negativity will make your posture seem more guarded and closed. Positive energy is infectious, which is why people often gravitate towards positive, cheerful people.