Some things are obvious: don’t boil his pet rabbit; don’t call his mother and talk to her about your life ; and don’t accuse him of sleeping with the barrister at the local coffee shop simply because he smiled at her. Still, some things might not be quite as obvious (or certifiably — as all the kids are saying — cray-cray). Some errors that you’re committing may be errors you don’t even realize are bad.
1. Communicating Constantly
As pretty much anyone who knows anything about relationships will tell you, communication — when it comes to relationships — is key. However, communicating doesn’t need to be constant, at least not in the form of text messages and phone calls. Contacting him constantly — hi, just wanted to see what you’re up to; hey, just wanted to make sure you got my message; hi again, my phone’s acting funny — just making sure you didn’t call! — shows him that you’re needy. And guys tend to run away from Stage Five Clingers as quickly as they can.
2. Trying to Change Him
One of the most important factors of learning how to make a man fall in love involves letting go of the need to evoke change. Some women end up dating guys who are less than wonderful — they’re bad boys, if you will — but these women stick it out because they believe they can change his evil (or just ornery) ways. Yet, going into a relationship with intent to instill change backfires for two reasons: you can’t change another person and trying to will almost always cause resentment.
3. Trying To Keep Him From Friends and Hobbies
Another common mistake women make — especially when relationships are in their initial stages — is keeping their mate away from his friends and the hobbies he loves. Some women erroneously view hobbies and social relationships as threats, concluding that if a guy chooses to go out with friends instead of stay at home with his partner, he likes his friends more. But, in actuality, friends and interests allow a man (and a woman) to blow off steam, satisfy needs, kick back and relax, and pursue passions. Taking this away from anyone isn’t conducive to a relationship; on the flipside, it’s entirely detrimental.
4. Jumping to Conclusions
It may seem very Brady Bunchesque to say that to assume means to make an a*s out of you and me, but it’s also true: when you jump to conclusions, you increase your odds of making accusations, overreacting, and saying things you can’t take back. You also increase the odds of jumping to a conclusion that is entirely wrong. So, if you find yourself assuming something about your mate – that’s he’s dating other people; that he’s not over his ex; that he’s only keeping you around until something better comes along — you’re much better off talking to him about your fears than letting them build up in your mind. Doing the latter risks turning a pile of dirt into Mount Everest.
Source: YourTango