A total of 500,000 Ugandans sat for the FCIE (Face book Certificate of Idleness Examination) last year in various cybers, offices and mobile phones around the country. These students sat for a total of ten papers including Wall writing, poking, inboxing, friend request & rejection science, Photo upload, chatting, Application usage, Facebook Drama, Online chemistry and Mobile face booking.
1) The best performed subject in the last exam was chatting. This can be attributed to the increased usage of face book by secretaries, non-management level employees and students who are naturally good at chatting. Notable answers given in this examination were “Hi” from people who just had nothing to write.
2) The worst performed subject was poking. As indicated earlier, night poking is no longer in the FCIE syllabus and thus all students who practice it were given a straight E. These included male stalkers like Henry J Maks, David Genesis and Chris Lovins.
3) Cheating was noted especially in Online chemistry. Cheating activities like stalking, snooping and scavenging on broken relationship status are rampant. Male students are most affected by these practices.
4) Facebook drama was the most popular subject in the exam. This was as a result of some students adding their parents as friends and married men and women adding their sugar daddies to their friends’ lists. However students avoided the topic of accepting friend requests from their parents and bosses at work.
5) Mobile facebooking is becoming an increasingly popular subject but the performance is still low. To boost performance in this subject, all students taking mobile face booking as a course have been ordered to take spelling classes with immediate effect.
6) Applications showed an improved performance especially after introduction of new set books like Farmville, Angry birds and Three Kingdoms online.
7) Inboxing also saw a remarkable improvement boosted by players, gossips and unfaithful spouses. Bachelors and spinsters have especially benefited. A majority of students had their examinations missing since the list of official names did not tally with names used on their profiles. All affected students are requested to report to their nearest cyber with their birth certificates, IDs and accompanied by BOTH parents.
8) Photo upload saw an improved performance mostly attributed to funny photos, obscene ones and photos of drunk friends. We urge all students in the Republic of Facebook to keep up the good work.
9) All students who failed the exam are required to clear their facebook accounts, surrender their passwords and move to MySpace for Bridging courses. Those who really failed will be absorbed into local polytechnics likes Google and Yahoo. We wish all students waiting to sit the FCIE exam later this year all the best. Ortega Ian Aliro, Principal Facebook High School Note: Registration for this year’s intake is taking place in many offices around town where students begin lessons as soon as they report to work and end up missing deadlines.