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Eddy Kenzo Nominated For the Grammy Awards

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grammyAs the world went to sleep yesterday, Uganda was awakening to the shocking and breaking news that saw Eddy Kenzo live up to his promise of bringing Uganda a Grammy award. After mastering his English language and dropping English songs that were played for the queen back at Buckingham palace, Eddy Kenzo will finally celebrate the work of his efforts.

Eddy Kenzo was nominated in the category of the ‘English-rape’ where two other Ugandans by the names of Diamond Oscar and Prof.Bigg Eye were also nominated. According to a source, Eddy kenzo could not hide his excitement though he downplayed the news; “I saw this coming, no one matches me when it comes to English-raping songs, the only competitor I have is myself,” said Eddy kenzo.

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When Prof.Bigg Eye was asked for a comment, “I wazi alrede bukuuti for thozi awards, ayamu goyingi haya than bifo.”

According to Wikipedia: “ A Grammy Award – or Grammy – is an accolade by the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences of the United States to recognize outstanding achievement in the music industry. The annual presentation ceremony features performances by prominent artists, and some of the awards of more popular interest are presented in a widely viewed televised ceremony. It is the music equivalent to the Emmy Awards for television, the Tony Awards for stage performances, and the Academy Awards for motion pictures.”

Disclaimer: The Editor wishes to note that this article was written in future around 2030 when Eddy Kenzo is most likely to walk away with a Grammy Award as he promised. The only true news is that The Goodlyfe was nominated for the BET awards.

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Engineer Peterson Mwesigwa Is Once Again Overall Best Student at LDC

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By Staff Writer

Peterson Mwesigwa could be the most intelligent Ugandan alive today. He holds a Masters Degree in Electrical and Computer Technology.

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Two years back, he was the first person to get a first class Degree at the Law School after over a decade of only second class degrees.

Now Mwesigwa is also the top student at this year’s graduating platform. He was awarded for topping everyone. He is surely an exceptional achiever.

A man standing at the interesection of the arts and sciences. An Engineer and now a lawyer.

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Andrew Mwenda on Loss of Mother: “I feel Empty and Lost”

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By Staff Writer

It has been a sad week as one of Uganda’s best journalists, Andrew Mwenda laid his mother to rest.

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While eulogizing his mother at All Saints Church, Mwenda described her as the most beautiful chic that ever lived. But one could not help but see the pain in his statements.

At 12 noon, Adyeeri Constance Muhangazima, was laid to rest in the great village of Kanyandahi.

Andrew Mwenda then took to Twitter to express his current pain and depression. He called it the biggest blow ever. He talked of feeling all lost and alone.

We can only pray for the best of comforting to the old man of the clan. Losing a mother is surely the hardest thing that ever happens to anyone in life. There is no hole deeper. It is a hole that cuts through a soul.

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Banzega: How Kisekka Market Mechanics Rob Car Owners; Ring Leader Revealed

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By Staff Writer

Many people in the past have shared nasty tales about their experiences with Kisekka market mechanics.

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BigEye.ug was able to speak to some mechanics who work at Kisekka market who revealed how the car repair scams happen. At Kisekka market, you basically pay for zero repairs on your car.

According to this mechanic, it is a big mistake for one to come by this area without calling up a specific mechanic. “We have cheap, good quality spare parts. But one should know that it usually doesn’t come cheap.”

These mechanics target naive drivers. They will warn you about someone wrong with your tyre and immediately offer a quick 5 minutes fix.

Before long others are taking off other tyres and claiming to be replacing car parts. Afterwards, they will give you a bill while your car has been stripped bare to the rims.

In order to survive, one has to pay or else the car won’t move. In Kisekka market, they call this method: “Banzega and Kusula masasi.”

We were also told that the ring leader is a one Bibi Atiriba; he runs his crime ring together with the nearby police post which takes a share of every bill. The police post will always rule in favour of the mechanics. “That guy has been to every prison in the country. He is feared by everyone. He is like a Kitatta but much more influential. He often brags that only Museveni can order him around,” this insider revealed to us.

“If you want your car to be repaired well, then it is best to just go straight to him. Or else wait to be scammed while in kisekka market.”

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