Sex is hot whether or not you have an orgasm. Still, we know it’s frustrating as hell when you’re trying to reach climax, but it’s just not happening. Try a few of these moves—they’re almost guaranteed to leave your toes curling and your head spinning.
TURN ON YOUR MIND
Since sexual response originates in the brain, thinking sexy thoughts will help bring you to the brink. Whether you’re dreaming about your man or the cutie from the coffee shop, it’ll get your head in the game.
KEEP YOUR ENGINE HUMMING
If you start heating yourself up early on, you’ll be that much closer to climax by the time you actually have sex. Spend a few minutes touching yourself in bed when you wake up or during your morning shower. And because simply bringing mental awareness to your V-zone builds arousal, make it a habit to think about sex occasionally throughout the day—for example, whenever you go up a staircase or elevator.
MAKE FOREPLAY YOUR BFF
While it’s fun to have an occasional quickie, foreplay really is key to satisfaction. Not only does it usually take women longer to get turned on than men, but the more aroused you are, the more engorged your clitoris becomes, and so the easier it is to stimulate your C-spot during sex. Spend time kissing and touching each other, and have your guy circle your clitoris with his tongue or fingertip, experimenting with pressure and speed. (Hint: The upper left part of the clitoris tends to be the most sensitive area. Who knew?)
BE LIKE BUDDHA
It’s common for your mind to wander during the action…to your grocery list, a work project, a weird interaction with a frenemy—whatever. But staying in the moment as much as possible will up your likelihood of coming, as well as give you more pleasure overall. Should a pesky thought enter your head, let it go and return to what’s happening now: Concentrate on your guy and every sensation that your body’s feeling.
LOVE YOUR BODY
A recent University of Texas at Austin study of 153 women aged 18-49 found a link between positive body image and sexual satisfaction. Experts say feeling good about yourself also helps you avoid “spectatoring” (looking in on your experience from the outside instead of enjoying the physical sensation itself). Focus on the parts of your body that you know are hot—your amazing boobs, your perky butt—instead of dwelling on an area you wish were curvier or more toned.
HAVE FUN
Being goal-oriented about coming can hinder climax—it’s a lot of pressure! So give yourself a break and cop a playful attitude about the whole thing; enjoy the process of sex, rather than focusing on the finish line. Ironically, not thinking about orgasm can often lead you there.
PAY ATTENTION TO THE C-SPOT
Two-thirds of women don’t reach orgasm from penetration alone, because intercourse often fails to stimulate your clitoris, the nerve epicenter. No matter what position you’re in, use your finger or a vibrator to give your C-Spot extra TLC during sex.
GET YOUR CAT ON
One position that does focus on the clitoris? The CAT, aka coital alignment technique: It allows you to simultaneously squeeze his penis between your thighs, grind your clitoris against his pelvis bone, and feel him deep inside of you. Get into missionary and then have him shift his body forward so the base of his penis is pressed into your pelvis. Then lift your hips and wrap your legs around his calves. Instead of an in-and-out motion, he should rock back and forth.
SLITHER INTO “THE SNAKE”
This is another orgasm-friendly option. Lie on your stomach and have your man enter you from behind. Slide a vibrator or a finger between your pelvis and the mattress and use the weight of your body to rub your clitoris against it. The We-Vibe Touchworks well, because its shape wraps around you and it’s wide enough to stimulate both your clitoris and the surrounding nerves.
GIVE YOURSELF A BOOST
Propping a pillow under your hips during guy-on-top sex instantly improves access to your clitoris, and increases your odds of arriving in O-town.
PRESS PAUSE
Take a break or switch sex positions every so often to build anticipation and keep your nerves peaked. If you do the same thing for too long, your body can get numb, preventing climax.
EXPERIENCE FULL-BODY PLEASURE
Remember the erogenous zones that aren’t located between your legs. Some women can tip over the edge from breast stimulation, anal play, even something as seemingly mundane as touching the small of their backs—so don’t discount the power of head-to-toe arousal. Have your man caress you everywhere, whether before or during the action.
HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF
Masturbation is one of the most underrated sex tips. The more you understand about what gets you hot, the better able you’ll be to relate that info to your man…and reap the orgasmic benefits. With that in mind, explore all different kinds of strokes and fantasies—totally solo.
BREAK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
While we’re on the subject of exploration, take an experimental approach to intercourse, too—you might hit on an unexpected climax-trigger. Try ideas you’ve never done before, like light bondage, role-play, toys, or sex in semi-public. And switch things up: For instance, if you’re normally the more dominant one, let him take the reins and vice-versa.
HEIGHTEN SENSATION
Have your guy blindfold you or slip on noise-cancelling headphones. Restricting one sense has the effect of accentuating the sense of touch, which makes you more likely to come.
MAKE SOME NOISE
Getting vocal during sex is a good way to feel freer between the sheets, and letting go is essential for climax. Moan, sigh, scream…just let it all out.
WORK YOUR KEGELS
Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles (via Kegels) improves orgasmic response, so make PC exercises a regular part of your routine.
…EVEN BETWEEN THE SHEETS
Did you know that you can also do kegels during sex to help you orgasm? When you feel yourself getting to a high point of arousal, contract and release your pelvic floor muscles to enhance the sensations and mimic the climactic contractions your body experiences during an O. That motion can help push you over the brink.
JUST BREATHE
One of the biggest impediments to orgasm is holding your breath. (Oxygen increases blood flow, which in turn drives arousal). Try breathing in rhythm with sex: Inhale with each thrust inward and exhale every time he pulls out. When you begin to climax, lengthen your breath to prolong and intensify the contractions.
RELAAAAX
Men tense up right before climax, because of it takes some force to ejaculate. But women actually need to be relaxed in order to orgasm. So clear your head, release your muscles, and let the waves of awesome feelings wash over you.
Source: Cosmopolitan
