The first thing you need to do after getting a girl’s number is to send out a ping. You want to establish that yes, this is her number and that she’s actually going to respond to you when you try to contact her. Text is invaluable here not only because it’s low-investment on both your parts, but also because you can use it to make yourself stand out from the other guys she’s met and given her number out to. I’ve mentioned before that I encourage giving girls teasing nicknames as a part of flirting; using that nickname here helps re-establish not only who you are and how you met but also works well as call-back humor.
There are a lot of so-called “rules” out there about when you should call after getting the number – see the classic scene in Swingers – whether to wait one day, three days, a week. Ignore all of those. I will usually send a text ping within a couple of hours of getting the number. Why so soon? Well to start with, you don’t want to lose the emotional momentum you’ve built up. You also want to establish contact while you’re still fresh in her memory instead of playing the classic “Hey, it’s Jake, we met two nights ago at The Library, I was wearing the Dr. Who shirt…. no, Jake. Jay-ay-kay-ee.” conversation.
The text ping doesn’t have to be terribly complex or crazy – just a little reminder of who you are. One of the most reliable out there is the classic “Hey $NICKNAME, do you speak text? $YOURNAME”. If I met her while out at a bar or party, I may send something along the lines of “Hey $NICKNAME, it’s $YOURNAME, I’m texting you now before I forget who you are when tomorrow’s hangover kick’s in, so WRITE ME BACK, WOMAN!” or “So I have a couple hours before the consequences of my actions kick in $NICKNAME so I wanted to say ‘hey!’”
You want to bait girls into writing back; this is why you don’t want to say “Hey, it was great meeting you last night!”. A little humor and/or intrigue works best as does a challenge. “Hey $NICKNAME, this question will forever decide whether we can be friends: favorite Bond Girl?” Make or break questions, especially any involving a binary choice, will get good responses; cake or pie, beach or skiing, Los Angeles or Miami, New York or San Francisco, New Orleans or Austin, Game of Thrones or True Blood. Regardless of the answer, a teasing response “What, are you serious? Oh God, I can’t take you seriously…” can keep the conversation going.
Text Message Etiquette, Responses and Timing
A number of people – especially would-be PUAs will make a point of using response time as a power-play in order to manipulate the girls they’re talking to; the idea is that the anticipation and expectation of a return message will keep girls interested. If she takes a day to respond,they will take a day to respond… or longer.
This, frankly, is absurd. People who play these sorts of head games are people you donot want to date or emulate. Passive-aggressive behavior and manipulation really has no place when it comes to dating. This sort of behavior is the emotional equivalent of a brightly-colored reptile: it’s how nature tells us not to touch it. The last thing you want to do is punish someone for responding to you in a friendly manner.
Now at the same time, you don’t necessarily want to respond right away; you don’t want to give the impression that you’re waiting with sandwiches by the phone after all. So if it isn’t with someone whom you’re close with – good friends, family members, an actual girlfriend – wait around 15 minutes from when you receive the text to respond. Occasionally you will want to vary it up; sometimes you will respond immediately, other times you will take a little longer… being a little unpredictable is good. Holding a response hostage for hours or even days – assuming you aren’t legitimately busy and can’t respond – isn’t appropriate behavior, nor is it as attractive as others would have you think.
Similarly, some people will advocate sticking to a specific number of texts per day… period. At that point either you call or you don’t respond until the next day. Again: this is ridiculous. If the two of you are vibing and having a good time chatting via text, there’s no reason not to keep chatting that way. I have had text conversations that went on for hours and ended up being literally hundreds of back-and-forths… a very good reason to get unlimited texting if you can possibly afford it.
Source: doctornerdlove.com
