By Ian Ortega
I used to hate rats so much back then when Katwe was still the Munyonyo of Kampala.
Well, I happened to have an apartment nearby without my father’s knowledge. He would take me with him to work near sapoba then let me loose to go and play. Of course being the super kid I was, I had saved enough money to rent me a one room impoverished house in case I ever got lucky to the extent of causing commotion in someone’s temangalo. Can you imagine I was just a teenager?
So in this house of mine, I had many rats that for once I decided to launch operation EMEESE ZIGENDE literally meaning I was determined to kill all of them. So I bought all my mouse traps, bought all kinds of rat poison and I can assure you before long, all rats and mice were done except one big headed one that simply used my room as a country home.
I dreaded this rat so much that I am so sure it dreaded me too in the same capacity no wonder it decided to revenge. On one fateful day, I got really lucky; some girl was going to allow me to walk to work in her ‘kasangati’… I bought the gloves for my best friend Dickson in case of injuries at the walk place, you see those days we only had two options, it is either protector or Life guard and they all came in the same size, extra-large. Apparently the guy who was used to determine the size was Golola’s father so u can imagine such a size trying to fit on a teenage me.
Well, the girl was ready to read the word of the day which was legs and she was already spreading the word as I was also putting on the large size gloves. Up and down, left and right nga the thing is no longer on, I tried to look down, I could not see the glove, I now knew it had entered her, it was now a terrible search in her “temangalo” for this glove.
I searched to the best of my ability; I even got a torch and lit there, wapi the ka-thing had gotten lost. My heart was beating, she was sweating profusely.
Those days the story in the early nineties was if the glove got stuck in someone’s temangalo, that was the end of her… so I rushed her to a nearby clinic of mama Naalu near Musa Body in Katwe, the nurse also searched and said they could not find it. I knew the next thing was death, hours passed, days passed and months.
On one joyful April fool’s day later in the year, I heard brought in campusers from MUK trying to vibe them, yes my father was loaded, they could not resist me coz I was even so handsome, so as these three girls were seated, something dropped from the roof and ALAS! It was the lost condom only to look up and see that vengeful rat.
I swear that day I vowed never to tamper with rats anymore, it had given me worries for 2 months, it had made me fail to finish my walk to work, now it had even made me fail to vibe these campus babes……since then if I ever find rats and mice, I let them go away without any disturbance, I simply learnt the hard way not to mind other’s business as you go about your own dating spree.
“[katogoaward]”
