Have you ever been on top of a dude during sex and looked down to see that he’s in a moment of deep thought?
Well, that’s not unusual. Girl on top requires the least amount of physical effort on our end, freeing up the mind to wander a bit. It’s also one of the best positions to, you know, take it all in. While I have nothing against the other 35 positions, missionary definitely leaves a lot more to the imagination.
Here are seven things guys think about when you’re ridin’ dirty.
1. “This is a nice break.” Lots of guys are likely to initiate the cowgirl move because they’re winded, or on the brink of premature ejaculation. In either case, we need a moment to get it back together. On behalf of the male species, thank you for the breather.
2. “BOOBS!” No other position affords such amazing optical access.
3. “What should I do with my hands?” Being on bottom leaves so many options: butt cheeks, clitoral play, your hair, grabbing your face to make out, hand holding… It’s hard to choose!
4. “I could stay like this for days.” Lazy sex is the best sex. You know it’s true.
5. “Please don’t break my dick.” It’s always in the back of our mind that something bad is going to happen while you’re on top. One wrong move, and it’s all over for our peen. (If this is making you want to Google “fractured penis,” don’t. Just trust me.)
6. “I wish I had a camera right now.” While you might argue that the angle from our perspective isn’t super flattering, we beg to differ. And until Apple develops an iCloud with CIA-level security, we’re going to use our mental camera and save this to our spank bank. Yeah, gross, but true.
7. “Alright—my turn again.” A great sexual excursion includes a few positions, orgasms all around, and a celebratory sports drink (because hydration is key). Even though we love you on top, when you’re ready for a change, we’re totally game. Just point us in the right direction.
Start making money online today with Bitcoin. Sign up here!