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If you’ve ever experienced bad sex, then chances are the anticlimactic moves or lack thereof not only killed your vibe, but they also eliminated any possibility of reaching orgasm. As if that’s not awful enough, your psyche may have also been affected. You probably left the place feeling like a sucia. But something can be salvaged from an uneventful sexual escapade. Much like bad choices lead to lessons, you should appreciate an awful romp for what it was — an experience.
Here are some lessons to learn from really bad sex:
Speaking up is essential.
Sometimes bad sex occurs when you don’t speak up and tell your lover what you likedown there. Next time you’re knocking boots and things are going nowhere, lead him. Take his hand and say, “This is my sweet spot,” or “I like it when you touch me here.” This way he’ll learn how to please you time and time again.
Penis size don’t mean a thang.
A guy with a big penis may believe he doesn’t have to werk. Well, think again, muchacho.Just because he has a big Johnson doesn’t mean he knows how to use it. In fact, many men with small penises overcompensate due to their size. So, when you’re checking his package, don’t assume he will do you right just because his size is impressive.
The wetter the better.
Listen, sometimes you just want to have sex — and foreplay takes time, so get wet by other means. Use lubricant to speed up the process. If you’re not wet, not only will the friction dry you out, but you will also feel a bit of pain. And that’s no fun!
Don’t just focus on your vagina.
Vaginal orgasms are rare. Actually, most women climax via clitoral stimulation or a combination of both. The next time you’re having sex and the Big O is eluding you, take your hand and play with your clit while your partner penetrates you. That way you’ll guarantee an “aaaaah” moment.
A connection may matter.
If you want to sleep with a stranger, go for it. Just make sure protection is a must! However, keep in mind that having an emotional connection with a lover often leads to better sex. Think about it: You are naked during intercourse in more ways than one. This guy is seeing your bits and your crazy sex faces. Having sex with someone you’re connected to can make things less awkward, which can ultimately lead to better sex.
Don’t assume you’re not at fault.
You may have assumed you’re great at sex — I mean, have you seen me lately? Who wouldn’t enjoy banging this?! You’re probably right, but sex takes two (or three or more, if you’re into that). You may be a great lover (and you’ve heard it before), but perhaps you’re not making your sex partner feel at ease, or maybe you’re not communicating your needs. The lesson here: Think about what you’re doing in the boudoir to contribute to crappy sex.
Sometimes chemistry is just off.
In one of the realest Sex and the City episodes, Carrie dated Burger, and their sex was awful. The culprit? Bad sexual chemistry. It can happen to anyone! You’re attracted to this guy, you have sex — and it’s just awkward. Carrie and Burger worked it out (temporarily), but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade; bad sex can’t always be salvaged.