If you want to up your odds of getting lucky in the a.m., try using these tips. They just might get your girlfriend going. That, of course, means you’ll get off.
#1. Don’t Make Your Move Too Early
When the sun’s up I’m more likely to be in the mood than if streetlights are still on. A 3 a.m. wake-up call isn’t romantic or fun; it’s screwing me out of sleep. Put it away until later.
#2. No Kissing On The Mouth Unless We’ve Both Brushed
I’m down with the neck and shoulder kissing, but unless you took a morning pee and rinsed your mouth out with mouthwash or gave your teeth a quick brush, I don’t want to smell or taste your breath. And I don’t anticipate you want to taste or smell mine (because it’s just as gross as yours).
#3. Don’t Double Dip
If we had sex the night before and we didn’t use condoms — I’m not proud of it, but it happens — I don’t want dried bits of me and dried bits of you sliding back into my vaginal canal. I do my best to keep things infection-free down there, so as much as I want to go another round with you, it’s not worth the risk and potential discomfort. Think of it this way: if you knew your odds of feeling like you were pissing razor blades was upped by a huge percentage through sex, would you go for it? On second thought, you might be the wrong person to ask.
#4. Don’t Watch The Clock
If you’re looking for a quickie before work, cool. It’s a great start to my day, too. But don’t keep your eye on the clock like you’re counting down the New Year’s ball. If I catch you doing that and then going into warp speed to get things over with, I’m going to feel cheap. Give me your attention. If getting laid makes you a few minutes late, so be it. I might have to be somewhere too, but while you’re in me, you’re right where you need to be.
#5. Don’t Sprint Out Right After
If we’ve been together for a bit and you’re in a huge rush, sure, hop in the shower and be on your way. If not, rushing out right after we clean up — stumbling to the door with your pants and shirt in your hands — makes me feel used. I’m not cheap.
#6. Don’t Leave Things Behind
When I’m cleaning up I don’t want to find filthy socks or crusty undies in my bed. The hope is that you’re not doing it for a call back — that never works, I’ll just toss your undies in the trash — but it’s also awkward if we talk again and your undies had something in them. Need me to spell it out? Yeah, I’ll notice if there’s a streak, and it doesn’t make me want to bone you again.
Source: Modernman.com
