By Nimusiima Edward
Women are enigmatic human animals. They are a mystery of sorts. No male specie understands them. They lug large handbags and one wonders what they always carry in those bags. A smorgasbord of things. Here are 5 things I think women carry in their gigantic bags.
1. Clothes. This is obvious. They love their clothes the way they love money. Their bags are a wardrobe in motion. In those bags, you will find: leggings, a pair of knickers, torn knickers, jeans, a mini-skirt, a micro-mini-skirt, a dress, a man’s shirt, shoes, gum boots, a pillow case, a blanket, a dirty hankie, a bra et al.
2. Wigs. They love their hair, duh. So, for emergency, say, when their wig is blown away by the wind and falls in a pool of sewage, they pull out a new wig, patch it on the head and continue walking.
3. Stones. Trust women, they will surprise you. Their bags are always so heavy that they lift them off the ground with both hands and clenched teeth. They carry stones there. Mbu self defence! They use those stones to throw at stalkers and poor men. Women!
4. Food. They love their food. Yamawe! Women eat like elephants; they eat in kilograms. So, they carry their food in those large bags. Deep fried chicken. A warm rolex. Three chapattis. Biscuits. Mangoes. Roasted maize. Boiled maize. French fries. Roasted cassava. A jerrycan of water. Chocolate. A mug of porridge.
5. Nothing. Yes, nothing. They carry air there. They are smart heads, women. Smart and innovative and always think out of the bag. She will carry a large handbag with nothing inside. When she comes to visit you, dare blink and see. If you blink, she will throw in your fridge and whistle. You’re robbed.
“[katogoaward]”