Men are increasingly finding themselves confronted by some pretty powerful notions about their sex drives and how they respond to the 21st century woman. There are some longstanding myths about us and our expectations of the women in our lives—here are five common ones, along with the realities behind them.
1. Men are intimidated when a woman has had a lot of sexual partners.
It isn’t the experience that freaks us out; it’s the talking about it. When you tell us you learned this amazing technique from a Kundalini teacher in Prague, we’re then stuck with the mental image of you steaming up ayoga studio with another man. So tell us you found that move in a Kama Sutra book and have always wanted to try it out. Yeah, we’ll know you’re probably fibbing, but we’ll be much happier without that yoga teacher in our heads.
2. Men expect women to be as sexually forward as them.
Well, maybe, maybe not. Let me ask you this: How special would you feel if we made it clear to you that we’ll pretty much go home with anything in a skirt? Not very, am I right? Despite a rather memorable low point in the 90s, when men were expected to be sensitive and shy and cry at movies, the mating game hasn’t really changed all that much over the years.
We let you know we’re attracted to you sexually early and often, and you tell us how far we can go and when. Generally, nobody’s more surprised than we are if you say “yes” right off the bat. This doesn’t mean we’ll think you’re a slut if you sleep with us on the first date, but we will wonder why we were able to seal the deal so quickly.
We may decide that the chemistry was simply too amazing to wait. On the other hand, we might think that you aren’t all that discriminating about who you take to bed. If our goal is to find a temporary sexual partner, this isn’t necessarily a problem. But if we’re looking for something more long-term, we may decide to keep searching until we find someone who wants “us,” not just anyone with the right anatomy.
3. Men want women who are completely sexually free.
Actually, we’re not nearly that hard to please. Mainly, we’re just looking for a partner who’s sexually compatible with us. As long as you’re open to about 80 percent of the things we enjoy, we aren’t going to bail out just because you don’t share our fantasies about sex on a moving motorcycle.
In fact, we’re going to feel much more pressure if we think you’re saying yes just to prove how free and open you are. The last thing we want is to lead you somewhere you don’t really want to go. So tell us what your limits are. We’ll respect them. And if we’re too far apart in our sexual tastes, then maybe the relationship isn’t really what either of us wants or needs.
4. Men lose interest if a woman makes them wait for sex.
There are a lot of different kinds of waiting, and our reaction is going to depend largely on what we think is behind the delay. If we think you’re genuinely taking the time to get to know us before becoming intimate, we’re often flattered by that and are willing to hang in there for a while.
We love the idea that you’re choosy, because it makes us feel amazing when you eventually do choose us. On the other hand, we’re not idiots, and we’ll disappear pretty quickly if we think you’re simply stringing us along.
That may sound cynical, but every guy over the age of 25 has found himself dragged around by the nose at least once by a woman who wanted nothing more from us than a free meal. So the best way to keep us interested is to be truly interested yourself.
5. One-night stands never lead to happily ever after.
Most men don’t spend our teen years fantasizing about finding and marrying Ms. Right. For us, choosing a life partner is as much about timing as it is about the woman. If we aren’t ready personally or professionally for a long-term relationship, no connection is going towork out in the long run, whether you jump into bed with us right away or make us wait it out.
But if we’re ready for commitment and think you might be the right one, we won’t be scared away by the timing of our first sexual encounter.
That said, this is one myth that does have some roots in reality. One-night stands often involve alcohol, and there’s just no telling whether we’ll feel the same chemistry with you once we’ve sobered up. Maybe this is why you rarely meet married couples whose “how we met” stories involve six Long Island ice teas and a mechanical bull.
Source: Womenshealthmag.com