By Moses Abeka
9 seconds into the fight, a few kicks here and there and bang! A rock shattering blow and the night was done. A friend who attended confessed missing the fight after blinking. By the time he opened his sleepy eyes, Golola’s fans were celebrating while Tugume was on his way to resurrection. It was that fast!
Nobody wants to be in Tugume’s shoes at the moment. That is the reason I decided to step in his shoes. Since it is such uncomfortable position to be in ( comfort is a human right), follow me in his shoes for 5 minutes and feel what it is like to lose a fight in 9 seconds. One punch sent the hard rock crumbling on the ground like a sack of potatoes being off loaded in Bundibugyo! That is not funny!
Minute One, Zero seconds.
Am not reading those newspapers! How do you write acres of papers about a 9 second match. There should be just 9 sentences explaining what took place in each second. Let them write! If I were the editor, this is what I would look for.
”The much anticipated fight lasted 9 seconds and Golola was declared winner. Titus Tugume the hard rock started off tactfully kicking Golola’s stomach like a chicken thief. However, this proved detrimental self-destruction to the UPDF soldier after his kicks aided the digestion of the remaining porridge in Golola’s stomach, releasing floods of strength to his arms, sending a punch to Tugume’s head. He lost balance, not the spirit to fight and the match was cut short! Justice will prevail when Golola heeds to Tugume’s call for rematch.
Now that is in depth analysis!
Minute Two, 30 seconds later
Coffins are a bad omen! That coffin maker thought I was a real customer. He does not understand marketing. He might have cleared rent on the assurance that I had got him a customer. He thanked God for helping his business grow! I think he even celebrated thinking I was dead!
Minute Three, 1 second later
I dont know the problem with old people. Now that Mzee referee also! I dont know why kick boxing has one official for all the matches. I fell down and begun to meditate before getting up! I was resting. No, I
was praying only to be interrupted that I was knocked out! I think he wanted to go home and sleep.
Minute Four, 55 seconds
I saw the angel of the lord in my prayers. He said,” Tugume…Tugume, My son. Why are you fighting at this time of the night? Go to sleep my son. The carpet you are lying on is more comfortable than the uniport in the barracks. Sleep my son, sleep!”
Minute Five
Golola can go ahead and talk all he wants. He has his belt. I also have mine.
Minute Five, 58 seconds
Sylvia Owor should organise a match and I beat Malik again. I need that motivation. Are they still together after that fight? I deserve a rematch.
Minute Five, 59.9999 seconds
Why me? Why?
