1. Pause
Don’t talk so fast. Slow down and pause. You don’t want to run the risk of interrupting the girl you’re talking to. You don’t let her talk. Remember women are addicted to talking like an alcoholic is to Samuel Adams. You will look like a bad conversationalist and you don’t care about what she has to say. What also happens when you pause is that you will make her think you’re articulate. Pausing has this effect on people that makes them think you are an intelligent and articulate person that thinks about what he says.
2. Ask Questions
Get her life story. You want to find out as much as you can about her. When you ask questions you are talking about her favorite subject. Herself. You are doing something that most guys never do. Most guys talk about themselves and go on and on and on. And the girl doesn’t care! She doesn’t want to hear about your car or how you can lift 300 pounds. She doesn’t care. All she wants to do is talk about herself. So just let her do it. Let her talk herself all the way into your bed.
Never assume that you understand what she is saying. Ask her for clarification. A lot of guys like to jump in and finish sentences for women. Do not do that. That is a bad mistake especially in the conversation game. She might be pausing to take a breath so let her talk.
Asking, “How do you mean?” is one of the most powerful questions that you can ask someone whether they are male or female. If she says she wants to become this in her life or become this and she’s made a statement about something. Just ask for clarification. Say, “How do you mean?” or “How do you mean exactly?”
3. Paraphrase
Repeat back in your own words what she just said. For example if she says, “I love to sing because it makes me feel good inside.” You say, “Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is you love to sing because you get a good feeling when you sing.” When you paraphrase a women’s words or anybody for that matter, you demonstrate that you are actively listening and paying attention.
Do you know how powerful you become in her mind?! Women love it when men really listen to them. You become the needle in the haystack. The one she’s been looking for her whole life. The guy that she decides to give her virginity to if your game is tight. If you ask women in relationships what one thing they would change about their man, they would say they want their man to listen and communicate with them better.
Take a real genuine interest in the woman that’s in front of you. You want to find out all you can about her. I’m not about teaching guys to just get laid. That is not the end all be all. You are the CEO of your life and you want to find the best employees (women) that will drive revenue for your company. You are not so desperate that you will let any woman into your bed. You must have standards and I don’t mean looks or appearance. I mean by evaluating how she can better your life. If she is a weed smoker, she will bring you down. If she is an overachiever, she will encourage you and pick you up when you feel like a failure. Take the time to find out who she is because you will be bringing her into your life.
Exercises:
1) Practice pausing every day. Pause before you reply to someone because they might still be talking. Also practice pausing in between sentences. Most people add filler like uh and like. Just pause instead.
2) Practice asking, “how do you mean?” whenever you aren’t sure what the person just said.
3) Practice paraphrasing when someone makes a statement. Repeat back in your own words what they just said.
When you do these three steps your conversation skills will increase and by word of mouth, women will find out about you. And they will come to you. They will come.