Gentlemen lets face it, no chic will ever come to you and tell you how she is into you, how she admires you and how she would like to come home with you. At best she will come and give you a compliment, “nice wallet, is that Ethiopian leather” beyond that you are getting nothing. So this means that if she is into you, you have to figure it by yourself.
The good thing is, girls know not all of us are rocket scientists , fortune tellers or Chris Hart so they are aware we actually cant tell, so they throw hints here and there hoping we will catch them. Problem is, our minds are preoccupied in other important matters such as thinking ‘she cant be into me, she is too hot”. Anyhoo one way chics will through you hints is through text messages. Some will give you flat out hints such as, “Hey my sink is blocked, would you mind coming over and help me fix it” at 10PM Friday night. You dont have to be a phycicist to make when the text is a booty call.
Lets go over some texts they send and how to decode them, now that they are always written in WOMANESE, i speak it because i made a point of spending most of my time with chics. I ve actually spent 70% of my time on earth with women.
1. When she really, really likes you she will text you a lot. She will be the one who initiates conversations, though at some point this will frustrate her if you dont get the hint because she will think that you don’t like her if you never initiate.
2. If her texts are overwhelming long winded brother she likes you, not that she doesn’t know how to be concise, she really cares about you, and for whatever reason isn’t given the chance to say some things straight to your face. She may give long winded advice or send you the longest rants of goofiness. Take that as a major compliment that she’s crushing on you bro.
3. She’ll send you pictures of her teddy, dog, cat etc she hopes it’ll make a positive impression to you. I dont know exactly how you should respond, my WOMANESE is still on intermediary level, we ll see when am at the advanced stage. But “Nice puppy or Nice dog” will suffice. Am saving you from saying something stupid like “It has a big mouth”
4. Girls are more likely to use smileys and exclamation marks than boys. The winky face is a dead give away. If there’s an overabundance of smileys, exclamation marks, and overall excitement, you are in the money (that LIKE thumb on MKZ/FB doesnt count though, hio ni friendzone pap).
5. This one you all know, people twit it all the time, they hate that K letter. So its a bad sign if she responds with K, or only texts you one word responses.
6. If she sends you a message that is meant to be taken as funny, random, and it’s out of the blue — she probably is wanting to flirt with you. eg “Hey you So how are your balls taking it in this weather?”
7. If she mentions something that could be an activity, she’s trying to gage if you would like to do that activity with her. Such as: “You like rugby, you doing Masaku 7s?”. Budget and look for accomodation NOW.
8. If she sends you a nice text after you ve broken up with your mami, consider this suspect. She’s too on top of what’s going on, she doesn’t want to be a jerk and swoop in for you, she’s checking in on you — to see what’s the status and see if she can do something about it. To be someone for you to lean OR SLEEP on.
9. She’ll bring up inside jokes as a way to break the ice. “Its lunch time why would you let a girl starve”
10. Any kind of “breaking the ice” moments are suspect. If you have no idea why she’s starting a conversation through text and it seems comical, it’s definitely suspect.
11. If she brings up anything featuring words such as: shower, bed, clothing changes — she might be flirting. Girls are not as direct and these seem like hot buzz words to throw to see if you find her attractive. Girls who do this might not be looking for a relationship, but something more short term like getting laid.
12. If she texts you back when it’s unnecessary, she wants to keep the conversation alive. Any part on her to keep the conversation alive, especially the longer it goes on, is an obvious indication that she enjoys talking / flirting with you.
13. If she doesn’t text back at all after several days, that’s a big bad sign. Women don’t typically do that. She may forget, but usually will send a courtesy text to apologize. If she hasnt replied to your Monday text, dont text her on Thursday checking up on her and wondering why she didnt reply.
14. If she is only asking for directions or something basic, she is probably only asking for the D….directions. eg ‘Hey you know a shorter route i can get to Nation centre from Railways”
15. If she sends pictures of herself to you — yeah, she likes you. (Do not share pictures with your friends of her ever). It’s for you. If you get pictures of certain specific body parts, something more scandalous after 9pm — you are a booty call.
16. If she posts pictures on her Instagram that are related to you on the regular, count the amount that are related to you, the higher the better. If she has lots of pictures with everyone, the friendzone is your portion.
17. If she sends you texts EVERYDAY — you are in the money.
18. If you are the one she texts when she is drunk, you are the CHOSEN ONE SON.
19. Let me emphasize this. If she texts you about events that are WAY OUT IN THE FUTURE, she might want you to accompany her and is telling you to keep yourcalendar free… for her. Women drop hints about what they want to do with you.
20. I saved the BEST/WORST for last. If she makes up a retarded excuse like, “I have to watch my cat tonight.” OR “I’m washing my hair tonight.” Then you are the equivalent of dirt she is washing off.
Source: Vibe Weekly