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Was there a date night you totally forgot about?
Did you leave the toilet seat up?
Maybe you didn’t notice she got a haircut. Yeah, maybe that’s it.
Whatever it is, it’s bad. If she says anything on this list it’s best to just turn, run and give her a few hours and plenty of space before you return — with chocolate and puppies.
Here’s the list:
1. “Do whatever you want”
2. “I’m not mad”
3. “Don’t worry about me”
4. “It’s whatever”
5. “It doesn’t matter”
6. “What did you just say?”
7. “OK, you’re right”
8. “Fine,” “I’m fine,” “You’re fine,” “It’s fine”
9. “Who is she?”
10. “Nothing is going on”
11. “I don’t care”
12. “It doesn’t bother me”
13. “Have fun”
14. “I’m calm”
15. “Did you remember to (insert forgotten thing here)?”