Here are 10 ways Facebook is making you want to permanently log out of the dating pool.
1. Just when you think you’re ready to move on, it brings up a picture of you and your ex. On this day last year, you were on a boat with your ex at his family’s lake house. Do you remember? Did you want to know that? Hey, it’s me, Facebook, just checking in to make sure you remember that you were once in a loving, blissful relationship that took you on extravagant adventures, and now you’re eating a bagel and getting egg in your bed.
2. All your suggested friends seem to just be failed Tinder dates. Yep, you survived that one date where he laughed entirely too long at his own jokes and had an unhealthy obsession with Carly Rae Jepson, but now he’s just gonna be in the corner of your screen every time you log on, if that’s cool?
3. Anyone you’re trying to woo over has access to every embarrassing thing you’ve ever said or posted the past five to 10 years. It took me five seconds to go to my own profile, click 2008, and see that on Nov. 29, I was “going to see Twilight with my hoes.” Let’s just pray our crushes don’t do the same.
4. It’s waaaaaay too easy to accidentally like your crush’s photo from a year ago. Speaking of cyber-stalking, creeping on them is totally acceptable … except for the fact that you could so easily like an old photo or post that reveals how far back you’re lurking. Seriously, Facebook should have an “Are You Sure?” notification for anything more than three months old.
5. It shows your most recent searches. Usually, this is a private shame, but let’s say you and someone you’re into are out and about together, and want to look up a mutual friend: You open Facebook, click on the search bar, and it immediately shows that the last person you searched for … is looking over your shoulder.
6. It thinks you want to see a photo of your ex with his new girlfriend. Sure, you used to like all of your ex’s photos. But then you broke up. However, nobody told Facebook, so it’s still shooting any and all of their posts and photos to the top of your Newsfeed. Thx.
7. It thinks you want to see how many people like the photo of your ex with his new girlfriend. If you do manage to whittle your ex out of your Newsfeed, all that hard work is for naught if one of their photos gets a ton of likes. Not only does that push it to the top of your Newsfeed, but it shows you just how much everyone looooooves his new GF. GOOD FOR YOU, SARAH.
8. You can see when your crush has “seen” the event you invited them to but not responded to. You know, the casual house party you and your roommates specifically orchestrated so you could hang out with them. It’s cool, they’ll respond soon. Just gonna keep checking every couple of minutes.
9. Not to mention you can see when your crush has “seen” the cute and casual message you sent them. “Hey! What’s up! Just checking in to see if you think you’ll make it to the party this weekend. Want to get a head count so we know how much alcohol to buy. Also, let me know if you’re bringing someone? Also, if you’re coming, what time do you think you’ll arrive? Also, I know our apartment is super out of the way, so you’re totally welcome to crash! Also—” and so on.
10. Facebook has notifications when a bunch of people, including your crush, are attending an “event near you.” Its algorithm hasn’t quite caught on, however, to the fact that you weren’t invited. But really, what else was this feature supposed to tell you?
Source: Graphic.com.gh