The right man is out there, but sometimes it takes us a little while to find him. It’s not that he’s hiding – it’s more that we’re just not doing the right things that would help us find him sooner.
As you get older, and the quest for finding the right man picks up pace, you can start to feel a little bit down. While your friends are happy in their relationships, all you can do is dream wistfully of the time when you’ll finally meet the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
And the longer the search goes on, the more frustrated you can get.
Stop wasting time dating the wrong guys and start attracting the right guy with these 10 tips:
1. Find And Define Yourself
Do you know who you are? If you don’t, you’ll find it very hard to attract the right kind of man.
A lot of people, when asked to describe the kind of person they are, find it difficult. It’s a question we rarely broach. What is our identity?
Not knowing this can make it hard for you to make the right decisions. Why? Because without knowing exactly who you are, you can hardly be expected to make decisions that are right for you!
And this includes choosing the right kind of man who matches up with your personality.
2. Define Your Values
After you’ve identified who you are (such as you’re a leader, a vegetarian, a sister, a carer, a giver, a taker, an adventurer et cetera), you then need to define your values.
Again, this is something many of us don’t pay a lot of attention to. We coast through life without actively living life according to a prescribed set of values.
If you don’t know what your values are, not only do you find it hard to be consistent with your behaviour, but you may also find yourself dating a man who you eventually realise doesn’t prescribe to your undefined values!
Write down a list of values you have. Then, when you hit the dating scene, you can first make sure that a man shares your values before you start dating him. It will save you a lot of hassle later on when you realise that he puts security first, whereas you prefer freedom.
3. Ask Your Friends
Are you looking in the right places for the right guy? You might not be.
They that birds of a feather flock together, which means that if your friends are awesome, the chances are that they have some single guys who are awesome too.
Ask them if they know someone who’s right for you. What have you got to lose?
4. If You’re Not Sure, Stay Home
How many bad dates must we go on before we find Mr Right? Often, the bad dates are the ones that seemed as though they for sure would be fab. We’ve talked to the guy online and he seemed great. Which is why we can’t believe it when he turns out to be a jerk!
But sometimes, we know in our hearts when a date isn’t going to go too well. But we’re going anyway because we agreed to it.
If you sense that a guy isn’t right for you, it means he isn’t 99% of the time. Stop wasting time on guys like this.
5. Take A Class
It’s really hard to meet the right guy in noisy bars and dark clubs. It’s much easier to find them in classes, where the two of you already know you’ve got something in common.
6. Love Yourself
Want the perfect guy to come into your life and show you some love? It’s going to be a bit hard for him to do that if you can’t love yourself first.
Before you start trying to find Mr Right, you need to get your own house in order. Resolve any issues that might be putting the good guys off, such as confidence and a reluctance to trust people. Take good care of yourself first, and show him that you’re ready for a relationship.
7. Be Positive
The right kind of guy is usually looking for a girl who is positive, enthusiastic, cheery and loves life.
It’s highly unlikely you’ll be swept off your feet by a Prince Charming if you don’t see any point to life, always take the negatives from a situation, and walk around with a constant frown.
Sport a smile. Be optimistic about things. Laugh. Be happy! The right guy will find this kind of vibe irresistible.
8. Be Yourself
Putting on an act to impress a guy may mean that you’re unwittingly attracting the wrong kind of man.
Drop the act and have some faith in yourself. It’s the best way to spend the man you want to spend your life with.
9. Ask Yourself What You Want From A Relationship
One reason why some of us keep dating the wrong type of guy is that we just don’t know what we ultimately want from a relationship.
This means that it could be hard for Mr Right to find us. He might be out there, waiting and ready, but until we know what we want from a relationship, he isn’t going to come along.
Are you ready to settle down with someone? Do you just want some fun? Asking yourself these questions is important if you’re going to avoid more dead-end relationships in the future.
10. Move On From The Past
Another big reason why some of us find it hard to meet the right guy is that we just can’t move on from our past. Maybe you got hurt previously, or maybe you did something stupid, or maybe you’ve experienced a string of failed relationships.
Whatever happened, happened. You can’t change your past, but you can change your future. You are not your past. Don’t let it define you or hold you back. If there is something you can’t forgive, don’t forgive for their sake – forgive for your own sake. It will free you from the chains and allow you to take advantage when your Prince comes along.
Source: Modernghana.com