By Ian Ortega
Forget about the ‘mpale zikwekweya’ men. We are talking about Real men, not boys, not anything else. Here, are the 10 things that real Ugandan men do.
1. Real Ugandan Men don’t kiss and tell. They don’t go around boasting about the number of ladies they bedded and exposing their names. It all ends in bed and nothing that happens in bed leaves the bed. Real Ugandan men always keep silent after getting laid.
2. When rejected, real Ugandan men don’t reply back with insults. When a real Ugandan man vibes a girl and his application or manifesto is rejected, it does not turn into enmity. A real Ugandan man should know that rejection means, try again later.
3. Real Ugandan men don’t tap ladies’ assets without permission. Unless you are the Owino type, you are not supposed to tap a lady’s butt, her boobs or massage her thighs in a taxi. Real Ugandan men only tap when they have the rights.
4. Real Ugandan men don’t gossip. These things are done by taxi conductors and bodaboda men. A real Ugandan man limits his conversations to business, sports and the future.
5. Real Ugandan men don’t beat a lady. These are cowards. If you ever feel like beating a lady, first go to State House and tell Museveni to retire.
6. Real Ugandan men have a house and home to their name. Real Ugandan men realize that you have to finish your house before you get old and run out of time. Real Ugandan men build homes.
7. Real Ugandan men don’t drink cheap alcohol. That alcohol in sachets that makes a person smell like a pit-latrine in Bwaise. Real Ugandan men have a given limit to drinking; they don’t go to levels of blacking-out and becoming a public nuisance.
8. Real Ugandan men don’t buy sex and love. Real Ugandan men don’t pay for sex, they don’t use their money to convince a lady to love them. Real Ugandan men use their love to get sex not money. Real Ugandan men use their personality to get love not money. And in the same regard, real Ugandan men don’t go near brothels, they don’t pay for prostitutes.
9. Real Ugandan men don’t cheat and when they cheat, they confess and ask for forgiveness. Real Ugandan men acknowledge their mistakes and ask for forgiveness and make sure they don’t use their snake to bite every rat they come across.
10. Real Ugandan men take 100% responsibility for their actions. When you impregnate a girl, you have to own up. When you make a wrong choice, you don’t look for excuses or someone to blame. Real Ugandan men don’t run away from problems, they don’t act like Sejusa, they act like Kazini, they stick and solve the problems.
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