By Ian Ortega
1. Learn Corporate English: MUK students can upgrade their version of the English language from the fake slang to the language that elites use. For example, it’s not your gwa or pad for goodness sake, it’s your home.
2. Borrow Clothes and Beauty from MUBS: This applies to the girls, during this time; they can stock up clothes from their friends in MUBS as they prepare for the university to be re-opened. Secondly, they can borrow some natural beauty from Kyambogo girls who look stunningly hot even without make-up.
3. Open their Bibles: Instead of opening their legs, MUK students can use this period to open their Bibles. Instead of checking their Facebook account, they can use this period to check out a new church service. It pays.
4. Revise For Their Retakes: A MUK student will do an average of 10 retakes during his or her stay at campus. We wonder whether they are addicted to ‘retakology’. Otherwise, let them get their hand-outs and revise for their retakes.
5. Attend the Kyambogo Bazaar: Okay, this is degrading, but they are left with no option. The Kyambogo Bazaar is a clear reminder that Lumbes aka last funeral rites are still in existent. Right from Katogo, lumonde, emputa, muwogo, Kyambogo bazaar has it all. Attending this bazaar is a clear reminder to MUK guys that everyone has a village.
6. Take A Shower: Ever sat with a Lumumba dude? Goodness, these dudes have some sort of water phobia. Even flies fear coming near them lest they contract diseases. So for the MUK dudes, this is the time to take some serious showers and come back clean and up to the standards of the Brad Pitts of Kyambogo.
7. Attend A Coccidiosis Concert: This applies to those offering agriculture related courses. It’s good to know that practical lessons are offered out there. Attend a coccidiosis concert and learn about its side effects, for example, not completing a house is one of the side effects.
8. Quit Drugs: Yes, you guys should use this period to quit drugs, smoking shisha and weed is not cool. Stop writing your death certificates and write your CVs.
9. Drop the swag: Swag does not put the food on the table, swag does not build a house, class and hard work do all these. Instead, of sagging their pants, MUK students should use this time to pull up their socks and work hard in life.
10. Eliminate Busoga Jiggers: There is a great event taking place in Busoga called Tusenvule. It would be great to have MUK students helping to flick out the jiggers from the feet of those jigger infested men and women. So, to the MUK guys, other than using your fingers to finger your girlfriends, use them to eliminate jiggers, after-all, some of your beautiful girlfriends come from Busoga, Brian, am I lying?
