By Ian Ortega
1. You will take her out, feed her then as you are about to take her to your room , she will excuse herself and say “kankomeewe Ian” …you will wait thinking akomaawo not knowing this means see you next time.
2. She will call you in the middle of the night before a weekend and shout: ” I swear Ortega if you love me, you should take me for swimming at Nandos!” Bullsh*t ku nandos olaabye yo swimming pool?
3. She will pretend to know English and even when in a taxi she will shout “Conductor eye there, eye there” mbu to mean mu maaso awo.
4. She will deceive you mbu she is studying in USA only to realise she means United States of Acholi, Gulu University.
5. She will always hide her surname until you find out she has such a name like Nsimbiziwoome, nansikombi, Nabukalu, Namazzi.
6. She will pretend she respects you so much and even kneel down to greet you in the middle of Uchumi supermarket as you are shopping.
7. They only know one bedroom style “Missionary” ….she will entice you well and then just fall on bed like a log and begin shouting Iyee sabasajja, timber yiiyo……Nzijja kati…matidde daddy.
8. She will pretend she knows English until she begins to pronounce sweety as sweerie…….radio as ladiyo…bullsh*t.
9. Baganda girls are beggars from January to December. Even when you send her airtime, she will still beep you no matter what……era when you meet her in a bar and she wants tusker, just tell her: “gwe dem, olinamu 3k n i add u so u buy tusker.”
10. Baganda girls are……………..……..add your own bullsh*t, am so annoyed…..this one promised me federo kati i spent the whole day in gym only to call her nga her fne says, “The number u’ve called is currently switched off.”
To hate on Ortega
Email: ortian@gmail.com
Phone/Whatsapp: +256788551121
Twitter: @OrtegaUganda
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ianort
