By Ian Nkera Ford
Jackie Chandiru has made a name for herself from her voice. She started out as one third of Blu 3 touring the world before going single and doing well for herself. Funny though, she hasn’t been single in her personal life as she has for long been on a ‘husband-snatching’ spree. For that matter, I deem it fit to hand her an Honorary degree in Husband-Snatching majoring in Maneating. She has swallowed more men than crocodiles in River Kagera that she bags herself a First Class Degree in this course by default. Beat that.
We take time to analyse the course units she could have taken and how she faired.
Course Unit 1: Introduction To Home wrecking
This course unit offers skills in destabilizing homes. It centers on taking advantage of vulnerable housewives with fame and money. Jackie Chandiru passed with flying colours as she used her fame and money to grab the prey from very vulnerable women. The prey in question is lawyer Caleb Alaka and Julius Yiga. She gets an A.
Course Unit 2: Hypnosis of the Prey
This course gives you the skills to forget about your first wife and focus on the singer. She has manipulated these men into leaving their wives and devoting all their time and finances to her. All the men have left their wives to pitch camp with her in unknown destinations. She again nails this course unit. She gets a B+.
Course Unit 3: Practicals (Dissecting the prey)
This normally involves milking them of any cent they have saved. She will dissect the specimen (read men) to the last detail until they have nothing of a reputation to show off. She will then discard them without the slightest care. Alaka can attest to that while Yiga’s surprise is yet to be unwrapped. Here she scores an unprecedented A.
So with those very impressive marks, I can affirm to her graduation and wish her the best in any career opportunity she plans to take on.
“[katogoaward]”
