We’re sure you’ve seen tons of advice about what to do to help your guy last longer during sex. After all, stamina helps you reach your orgasm before he’s down for the count. But what if you have the opposite problem? You know, the sex is good, and you get off just fine, but your partner keeps on going, and going, and…
While this may seem like the biggest #firstworldproblem of sex issues, it’s not ideal when you’re the person experiencing all that…friction.
Staring at the ceiling and trying to moan convincingly isn’t great for your vagina—or your relationship. To find out what to do if his boner is lasting longer than you’d like, we talked to Emily Morse, Ph.D., sexologist and host of the podcast “Sex With Emily.”
Her, her three tips for dealing with the Sixty Minute Man.
Make It Rain—with Lube
Lubrication is your friend. Keeping things slippery down there will help you both pull into O-town, says Morse. “Research shows that women are more likely to orgasm when lubricant is involved,” she says. Plus, it can be a huge help when your partner is just not there yet, and you start to feel a little unwanted friction. Who knows? Maybe it will speed the process up for him and bring you another orgasm.
Good ol’ p-in-the-v sex is great, but you can always switch things up if your guy wants to continue and you’re feeling sore. Try asking him to pull out and finish with a hand job, a blow job, or a mutual masturbation session.
Different positions or scenarios can also do the trick. Morse suggests using your knowledge of your partner to help him finish faster. “Use those triggers that really turn him on,” she says (these ones are voted most likely to make him come by dudes). Maybe it’s a certain dirty phrase whispered in his ear, a light tug on his balls, or a swift spank. This can provide that push he needs to get him over the finish line and move you both into cuddle time.
If a marathon sex session isn’t working for you, you need to tell your partner. Try finding sexy ways to let your partner know that you’ve reached your limit, “like whispering, ‘I want you to come for me’ in his ear and giving his tush a little squeeze,” she says. If he’s still not getting it, tell him straight up that you’re in pain and it’s time to wrap things up.
If this is an ongoing issue in your sex life, wait for a time when things aren’t hot and heavy between you, then bring it up calmly and respectfully. Chances are he didn’t know you were uncomfortable and will be open to being more in sync with you during sex. “Together you can formulate a plan of action that helps both of you get your needs met,” says Morse.
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