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Uganda Politicians And Their Favourite Local TV Programmes.

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By Moses Abeka

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Betty Nambooze, Mukono north MP was reported to have declared her disappointment with the way Bebe Cool handles young aspirants in the singing and dance talent search, Talent XP that airs on NTV. This is not news, it was already broken. It brings me to two conclusions and ground breaking discovery.

One: Politicians watch local TV, a lot!

Two: Bebe is hard to impress

THE DISCOVERY

Betty Nambooze’s opinion helped me to derive a mathematical equation below, from which when the length of a politicians stay in office and other relevant values like the distance from their constituency to parliament, are substituted, one is able to determine their politician’s favourite television programmes after calculation. It is the Abeka equation.

1. RONALD KIBUULE

Watching TV has never been the same for Kibuule since making the famous rape statements. According to the equation, he used to watch Kabaata before. These days when he sits to watch TV, the women on the screen in short skirts, start running away in the television.

Last week when he turned on to watch  Straka on Late show, she ran away and lost a kilo of weight. Rukshana Namuyimba also ran when he settled to watch news. It is worse for music videos. When he contacted his pay TV service providers, they told him it has something to do with digital migration. “They are not running, they are migrating digitally”, so they said.

2.KAHINDA OTAFFIRE

He loves to watch documentaries on UBC. When he was tuning to his favorite, he heard a presenter called Bush Baby playing Baboon forest’s music which was followed by a chameleone’s. He laughed his head off saying,”…hehehe these animals of the dot com generation can present on television and sing!”

3.ODONGO OTTO

His favourite local TV is the adrenaline rush, Ninja warrior on NTV. Those antics have enabled him to tear up papers like a real ninja! Kwacha!

 4.JACOB OULANYAH

According to the Abeka equation, Oulanyah watches Talent XP and thinks otherwise of Nambooze’s claims that Bebe is not fair at passing judgment.

 6.ALENGOT AROMAIT

She watches Men on NTV, Choti Bahu on Bukedde and balances it with other soaps to clean up her thoughts about men!!

 7.EDWARD SEKANDI

He rarely watches television, the Abeka equation confirmed. When he sits down to watch, imaginary ‘rice’ starts pouring on his crystal clear HD LCD  plasma flat screen as he dozes off before he is awoken by a phone call from ‘above’.

Phone Krrrrrriiinnnggg….

VP: Hello

CALLER: How was the function? Tomorrow you have other ‘mikolo’ to grace. You will open a factory in Busia, attend a conference in Serena and get us on the attendance list in London conference.

VP: Ok!

CALLER: Do you remember the photo you took with Obama? In London, you may take one with the queen or Arsene Wenger and Ozil.

7.REBECCA KADAGA

She used to watch Life sories on NTV but is yet to come in terms with the new presenter. She skipped the last two episodes, according to our equation.

 8.LORD MAYOR

He watches news after making news.

 9. KEN THE MAN

Annet Nandutu cracks him and they may both join comedy.

10. TAMALE MIRUNDI

Agataliiko Nfuufu just.

11.MR. PRESIDENT

Television watches the president. He makes the news.

DISCLAIMER: The deductions of the equation are not views of the writer or this website but calculated answers from the equation. The same answers will be obtained if you can execute the above equation.

CONTACT THE WRITER

EMAIL moses24seven@gmail.com

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