Say goodbye to your next-level social media stalking skills and smartphone snooping. Now, if you suspect your significant other is cheating on you (and a good old-fashioned conversation won’t do the trick), there’s an app—and a mattress—for that.
The infidelity sleuths behind Smartress have designed a high-tech mattress and accompanying app that will catch the cheating S.O.B. red-handed. The mattress uses a battery-powered “Lover Detection System”—basically, a motion sensor—to notify you via smartphone app if your mattress is being, ahem, used when you’re not home. It’ll tell you the duration of use, speed, and even motion intensity of the movements on the mattress. Because you would definitely be asking for all those dirty details anyway, right? Ew.
While we’re intrigued, we still have lots of questions:
Does the company have a plan to help you stealthily replace your old mattress with one that is designed to catch him in the act? Won’t your partner wonder what you’re doing when you have to change the battery pack for your mattress? Does the mattress know when you’re having sex with your S.O. vs. a stranger? What happens if your dog jumps on the bed?
Of course, it goes without saying that if you need to order a tryst-tracking mattress to feel secure in your relationship, you might have bigger issues at play. Still, we love their motto: “If your partner isn’t faithful, at least your mattress is.”
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