Men are notoriously bad at picking up on small details. It’s not because we don’t care, it’s because we’re not paying attention to what’s going on.
Don’t hold it against us, but it’s a miracle we retain information like what your face looks like, let alone that the blue shirt you’re wearing is different than the blue shirt we’ve seen you wear before.
Here are some things you shouldn’t get mad at us for not noticing:
• A new purse.: It’s like the old thing you put a bunch of stuff in, except a different colour. As far as we’re concerned, all purses look the same.
• Shaved/unshaved legs.: Unless you’re coming at us like Sasquatch, we probably can’t tell you have a little bit of stubble on your legs.
• New candles.: The part of our brain that let’s us process candles in general is just missing. Point being, there’s no way we’re going to tell the difference between “Vanilla” and “French Vanilla” and “Vanilla Cupcake.”
• No makeup.: Women never believe this, but sometimes we don’t notice you’re not wearing makeup. We really don’t. And then we get yelled at for lying. This is one of life’s greatest mysteries.
• New shoes.: We never look below anyone’s knees. This is a fact.
• Blush.: We don’t know what blush is, so how can we even tell when you’ve changed it?
• Cellulite.: Everyone is more critical of their own body. Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever seen cellulite, but the countless times I’ve been called a liar tell me otherwise.
• A new haircut.: Unless you shaved your head, we’re not going to realise your hair is half an inch shorter.
• Highlights.: It’s your regular hair but with a few strands of colour. At least give us a hint before getting mad.
• New glasses.: All glasses are the same. Sorry, everyone.
• Circles under the eyes.: Sorry for getting lost in the vast and beautiful wilderness that are the deep pools of longing also known as your eyes and not noticing that you look kind of tired. How am I in trouble now?
• A new shade of lipstick.: Listen, there is the colour “red lipstick.” That is the only colour of lipstick I’m aware of. I don’t know what all these other colours are, but they’re not real.
• New jeans.: We can’t even tell the difference between our own jeans, let alone yours.
• Some new decoration in your room.: I’m not spending the next 20 minutes going on a scavenger hunt to find the one new coaster in your living room. This is the kind of thing that gives people aneurisms.
Source: Graphic Online
