By Ian Ortega
1. The Like Like – where you “like” a post because you find it genuinely funny / sentimental / you can relate to it / it’s got a baby, puppy, kitten or a woman in a bikini…
2. The SUPADUPA Like – where you really LOVE the post, but since FB hasn’t made a key to show you jumping with joy, you kinda have to make do with “Like” …followed by an essay of a comment
3. The Liketurbation Like – Where you post something and your reflex action makes you like your own post too because obviously the fact that you posted it in the 1st place, doesn’t give us any hint that you did so because you liked it.
4. The Thank you Like – When people comment on your posts, and your liking their comments is a way of saying “thank-you” for coming by…I appreciate it!
I think it’s a neater way to thank, than tagging every single human who commented and writing “thank-you”….and clogging their notification feed till kingdom come!
5. The I’m-Watching-You Like – Done by over obsessive boy/girl-friends, parents, spouses, your kids….to keep an eye on what you write and do – with “dhamki” under currents!
6. The Stalker Like – Where you shadow the person and “like” what they do before they even do it. Where you will be the 1st one to Like everything and even if a “.” is posted you MUST like it Keep up the good work, yo! You successfully freak the heck out of people.
7. The Acknowledgement Like – Where you “like” posts/photos of your friends to prove that you read it and to show support.
8. The “I’m secretly laughing at you” Sarcastic Like – This is when people put up stuff that makes you do , :-)) , or whaaaaaa?!?!? and you “like” it only because you can’t go up to them and laugh your guts out or slap them hard…..(and just so we’re very clear, laugh not because they’re that funny, but because they made utter idiots of themselves).
9. The “Hello I’m online” Like – this is to tell the other person – “hey, I’m online” without really saying it…so you can appear nonchalant and cool while sending signals.
10. The Karma Like – since we all know that our 1 Like = 1000$ donation from Microsoft = 100 hugs = 74 slaps and other such Aryabhata type of equations….we do these because we don’t want bitchy karma hounding us later.
11. The Pity Like – Where you “like” a post because you feel pity….sort of like “awwww, lemme throw you a bone because no-one else did.”
“[katogoaward]”