By Ian Ortega
1. On elections: “You either lose or fail!”
2. On rumours that he had died: “Eh!! That was a serious terrible. They announced along the radio that I had dead. The degree of sugar had risen in the blood. The doctor admitted me and put me on bottles of water. My sons and daughter…am still dead and kicking!”
3. On bird flu: “Flu is flu whether bad or good.”
4. Interviewer: Seya, were you born in Kampala City?
Seya: No, no I was born in Kampala here in Kisasi, just 3km ago.
5: On his announcement of a new political party: “First I will make a speech in English thereafter in our local government.
6. On Lukwago: “Lukwago, you have become a laughing stone in parliament.”
7. In WBS corridors: “Hullo Straka, u have lost. The last time I saw you, you were small girl…now you have fatted!”
8. Interviewer: Your Lordship Mr. Mayor, what are your ambitions and desires for Kampala City?”
Seya: “Haaa…Desire Luzinda just friend!”
[showmyads]
9. On the Buddo Inferno: “May their souls rest in peace. Oh, this is a strategy.”
10. In City Hall, before he chairs a meeting:
Colleague: Mr. Mayor, you look nervous.
Seya: Nedda ssebo, Nava namuleka ddaaaa.
11. On the economic situation in Uganda: “Most Ugandans now live in objective poverty.”