By Roy William Mayega
The fire in feminism seems to be ebbing fast, yet its seeming replacement is not anything milder, but a more abhorrent rise of its antithesis – the ‘slut culture’ – the agnostic protestant women who flaunt their private parts as if they were for the public.
They attempt to turn their ebbing fortunes by playing ‘show me and I show you’ – only to undress for the public. For this reason, they are called ‘hoes’. Which takes me to the story: I have seen pictures of Gashumba in her dress at the ‘Blankets and Wine’ thing (as shown in the e-tabloids and if indeed it was not photoshop). It took racy to another level, and re-launched Desire Luzinda’s earlier launch of the slut culture in Uganda. See, not even Rihanna, Madonna, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Nickki Minaj or Lady Gaga, the queens of the slut culture, have flaunted their v**inas in public – they put on their increasingly racy dresses but cover the most vital parts.
Gashumba, according to the pictures, flaunts a corset, at the the bottom tip of which is a ‘condom’ designed to espouse the silhouettes and contours of her perineum. She was like one comedic psychophantic RDC who continued to blubber nonsense at one public function as his trouser fly was ripped wide open by his animated speech – the interior showed torn discolored underwear and all other danglers – and you can imagine what the very attentive people (men and women alike) were focusing on during his speech.
We tried to signal to him ‘there is a star in the sky’ – the more we appealed, the more he animated, in the process living nothing to imagination. Until I went direct to him and hit him hard with my shoulder while whispering to him to hide his miserable wrinkled danglers as there were many children in the crowd. But the poor RDC did not mean it – For Gashumba, that’s what she meant.
Problem for Gashumba is that the ‘condom-tipped corset’s’ fabric appeared to be cotton – and the weather at the event seemed to have been a hot humid 33 degrees centigrade high (as per the pictures) – so one can make out a wet patch around the part of the corset that covers her limp perineum – God forbid if she was in her monthly cycle and the wet appearance was actually the effects – or she urinated or ‘incontinenced’ in her corset – either way, it appeared racy. The rest of her is very unmoved. She even said during the interview: ‘My team and I have been working on this outfit for a long time’. She looked like Petunia the beautiful but moronic goose.
May be we want the real genuine feminine struggle back. The rise of women whose real value is measured by their achievements other than the number of pubic hairs they are able to show in public. We want the real women of virtue back – those who sell excellence rather than rats.
There is a time her father was defending her from the attacking media after she was ejected out of a function at Makerere. He argued that her daughter earned much more than all the Engineers, Doctors, and PhD holders, yet she did not complete her studies. Only thing he did not know is that for you to remain relevant with a half-baked education, you have to manufacture innovative things (Like Elizabeth Holmes (Theramos), the youngest female billionaire). And if you cannot manufacture innovations, you have to rely on daring things to ‘Keep up with the Kardashians’. And one of them dumb-a**-daring things might be to put your v**ina up for auction.