Not a day goes by without some celebrity scandal or the other splashed across news channels or tabloids. Truth be told, they make for interesting dinnertime gossip. Case in point: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Even though the two have now officially parted ways, The Twilight heartthrob graciously took back his co-star and girlfriend, despite her infamous cheating scandal. However, what happens when you are at the receiving end of your partners’ infidelity?
Contrary to popular belief, an estranged couple can work towards re-building their relationship. If there has been infidelity in a relationship, there are steps that one can follow for the complete revival of their relationship.
Know the reasons for the infidelity: There are countless reasons why people cheat. You might reach a stage of both emotional and physical disconnect or your partner might be getting lavished with attention that you don’t give him/her anymore. Even though the act of cheating is not justified, recognizing the reasons behind the act is important. The one thing that becomes certain after an affair is that your relationship needs immediate repair. Says clinical psychologist Seema Hingorany, “Dealing with your partners infidelity can be a traumatic experience. The basic premise of a relationship that is trust is broken or fractured in a relationship. Identifying the reasons for the infidelity is of utmost importance.”
Give yourself time to get over the hurt: The amount of time you’ll take to get over your partners’ cheating varies from person to person. It’s important that you allow yourself the time and space to deal with it in the right way. You may want to lash out at your partner or keep your distance from him. Different people have different ways of healing. “When I found out about my husband’s infidelity, after seven years of marriage, I decided to stay away as I felt betrayed and hurt. After a point though, we decided to sit together and confront our feelings in order to salvage our relationship,” says Megha Rai (name changed).
Accept and communicate: If it boils down to pointing fingers and accusing one another, it will be extremely difficult to renew your broken relationship. Both partners should first accept their part of the blame and decide whether they want to work towards rebuilding their relationship. Honesty and complete openness with your partner can help. Remember that there are no winners or losers and all trace of ego or pride should be kept aside. Once the partner who has been infidel accepts his faults, you can both be well on your way to weaving your trust back again.
Set boundaries: It’s of chief importance that your partner knows the amount of hurt he/she has caused you. Talk it out with your partner and set some much-needed boundaries in order for both the parties to grieve and repent respectively. “The correct, process to deal with cheating is to give some time for your hurt to heal. Never suppress or bottle up emotions about what you are feeling,” adds Seema. It can take considerable time for the feelings of hurt, disloyalty, and pain to subside, don’t bargain your self-respect out of fear of losing your relationship. Instead set some important boundaries and stick by them.
Move forward: Reminding yourself or your partner about the infidelity at every other instance should be avoided. The cheated-upon person goes through a flood of emotions but so does the infidel. If you have both mutually decided to move past the incident and work towards repairing your relationship, persist and be sensitive towards your partners emotions. When a couple decides to reconcile and make concerted efforts towards the same, they could potentially have a fuller, more mature relationship post the cheating incident. It might not be too late, after all.
Source: Moderghana
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