By Ian Ortega
Ugandans are becoming interested in their health, here are the topics they searched for, most in Google.
1. Stress
Goodness, our bosses stress us, the President stresses us, Ssejusa stresses us, even girlfriends stress us. We really want to do away with stress, that’s why BigEye.ug exists.
2. Health
Health in general was among the most Googled topics. We want to know why some Presidents live longer than others even when others keep dying.
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3. Ovulation
This was googled by Campus girls just to know when it’s safe to abort or not. Anyway these are girl issues, I am less concerned.
4. Bloating
Having taken lots of milk and yoghurt, Ugandans got that stomach gas and were so perplexed by the bloating issues. Anyway, the fact of the matter is they had no idea what bloating meant.
5. AIDS
This was the fifth most searched for topic. What is AIDS? Does the big man have AIDS? All these things played on in our minds. We are still searching, can one get AIDS if they have sex and shower immediately after the act.
6. Nutrition
Anyway, yours truly wanted to know why after years of eating the best meals, he has failed to gain weight yet other parts of his increase, like his weapon of mass destruction.
7. Orgasm
Having had sex for more than 50 times, Ugandan women kept wondering what it meant to have an orgasm. 99% of Ugandan women have never experienced an Orgasm and they spend their whole sex life searching for one. Well, an orgasm is when…. Please send mobile money to the digits on the bottom of your screen to learn how to get one.
8. Cancer
You all remember, we went bald, Dorah Mwima went bald, Ian Ortega went bald, even Brian went bald. Cancer is something we have to deal with.
9. Spotting
Well, spotting… Spotting is light bleeding from your vagina. It’s similar to a period, but much lighter. The colour of the blood can be anything from red to brown. Rest assured that in the early weeks of pregnancy, a little spotting or bleeding is very common. As many as one in five mums-to-be with a continuing pregnancy have some sort of bleeding in the first trimester. So many Ugandan women experienced spotting and wanted to get to the core of what it signifies.
10. Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it hard to: Tell the difference between what is real and not real; Think clearly; Have normal emotional responses; Act normally in social situations. The KCCA councilors suffered from this disease and were seen googling for it. Anyway, either people in Butabika escaped and got access to internet or like Ragga Dee sang, all Ugandans are balalu.
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