By Ian Ortega
It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a detailed study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent………… 12 Calories
Without her consent…….. 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands………… 8 Calories
With one hand………….. 12 Calories
With your teeth………….85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection……….. 6 Calories
Without an erection……. 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.. 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary……….…… 52 Calories
69 lying down…………..78 Calories
69 standing up……….. 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow………….. 216 Calories
Her on top……………. 524 Calories
Doggy Style…………… 726 Calories
Donkey punch………….. 912 Calories
ORGASMIC:
Real……………...112 Calories
False……………. 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging…….. 18 Calories
Getting up immediately…….36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately…………….816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are
20-29 years old…….. 36 Calories
30-39 years………… 80 Calories
40-49 years………….1124 Calories
50-59 years……….. 1972 Calories
60-69 years……….. 2916 Calories
70 and over….Results are still pending
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly………… 32 Calories
In a hurry…….. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door… ……………1218 Calories
With your spouse knocking at the door…………….. 5521 Calories
“Vote BigEye Ug in the Kadanke Youth Awards in the Social Media category.
Simply dial *255#.
Press 3 – Kadanke.
Type 20 and press yes.
Then select option 1 – BigEye Ug.
Thank you.”
