As the economy continues to shrink faster than your willy in a cold swimming pool, the last thing you need is more news to get worried about. Unfortunately for us all, a new threat has emerged and this one’s not out to get your money, your freedom or your season tickets. Instead, this little menace has its eyes set on something else entirely: your sperm. It might be hard to believe, but a book written by author Mary Pols suggests that an increasing number of women are resorting to rather desperate measures in order to get pregnant, even if it’s by a guy they’ve just met. According to Pols, and others like her, some women who are coming to the end of their most fertile years are left with no other choice than to get knocked up “accidentally on purpose” — which is also the title of the book.
Still confused? Here’s how the scenario might typically unfold: You meet an attractive, single 30-something woman in a bar, and quickly things lead to the bedroom. As you fumble around for a condom, she insists that it won’t be necessary; she’s on the pill and claims to have regular health checkups. Alarm bells should be ringing right about now, but by this point, curse of man, you’re not really thinking with your head — or at least not the one up top. Flash forward a few months, and you pick up the phone to learn that impossibly — or so you thought — you’re going to be a daddy. Guess what? You’ve just been sperm jacked.
The sperm-jacker profile
You’ve probably already met the type: mid- to late-30s, single, childless, career-driven, and slightly wary of everything she sees and hears. You shouldn’t confuse her for a cougar though, who is merely an older woman looking for a good time with a younger man. Instead, the sperm-jacker has a different agenda; one which is entirely more sinister, and she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve her goal.
For purely biological reasons, sperm-jackers will prey on younger, more virile and potent men, whether subconsciously or not. If making a baby is the underlying motivation behind her seduction, she’ll target those who appear to be genetically superior. Clearly, the woman wants to be selective in her criteria for identifying the potential father of her child. Here’s what to look out for when being targeted by a sperm-jacker:
You can see her taking stock
If she’s admiring your physical features noticeably more than what you actually say, she may be after something other than your company. Does she casually question you and your family’s medical history? Does she pay special attention to things like your teeth and hairline? Even if she doesn’t realise it, there will be signs that she is sizing you up as a possible donor.
She is nonchalant about the need for contraception
For an older woman not to be concerned about the risks of having unprotected sex is mind-blowing, and it should have you immediately questioning her intentions. It is virtually impossible to be of that generation and not be highly aware of the dangers of HIV/AIDS.
There are a few more things you have to watch out for when avoiding the sperm-jacker…
She is aware of your ability to support
A woman who is looking someone to father her child will not be interested in one who can’t seem to afford a new pair of shoes. That’s not to say the sperm-jacker’s in it for the cash, but for peace of mind she’d much prefer a solvent backer. If she’s well aware that you’re, say, a junior accountant rather than a university student, you may want to consider her motives.
She is an older woman in a young person’s playground
The sperm-jacker knows that in order to increase her chances of getting pregnant and accomplishing her goal, she needs to select the most fertile partner possible. Perhaps she’s already tried with men her own age and older, and now is hoping to find a guy with a much healthier sperm count, so she focuses on places where young men hang out.
Don’t get sperm-jacked
Many women reading this might be thinking: “Don’t flatter yourselves boys.” But the fact remains — thanks in part to books like Pols’ — that there is a growing number of women in their mid- to late-30s who are single, childless and hell-bent on satisfying the belief that every female is entitled to having a child of her own even if she can’t seem to make a relationship last more than a couple of months.
The idea, we gather, is that women who are career-minded, successful and generally in control of most areas of their lives might never actually have a baby unless it is by accident. So, this concept of “accidentally on purpose” somehow justifies her decision to have an unplanned pregnancy, without even considering letting the guy in on it, by calling it a subconscious desire. This is so selfish and conniving that it’s difficult to take seriously, and it’s also exactly the sort of behaviour that sets the women’s movement back about 50 years.
Keep in mind that this article is not meant as a reflection on the “deterioration of our social fabric” or any other highfalutin nonsense like that. It’s not a condemnation of women, and it certainly isn’t an attempt to place men on any kind of moral pedestal. It’s just a simple warning to all of you who don’t already know about what seems to be a new, very real threat. Beware of the sperm-jacker; you’ve been warned.
Source: Capital FM
