By Ian Ortega
Born in October 1991, the Queen of East Africa’s Open Leg Syndrome, second to none except her counterpart Zari, Uganda’s Kim Kardashian has a story worth telling. Huddah Munroe’s real name is Alhuda Njoroge. If there’s one lady who has lived the ultimate life of a blonde, then Huddah is that lady.
But like the lady whom she’s tried to replicate, we can learn more about Huddah Munroe by studying the life of Marilyn Munroe. Unlike Marilyn Munroe, Huddah has no talent to speak of. This explains why she’s forever embarked on making her sexpot image her gateway to success, money, power, fame and even the ability to taste celebrity D.
Like Marilyn, Huddah came from completely nothing, and did what she wanted to do. She wasn’t just some vapid starlet. She knew what she wanted. From losing her father, when she was still a baby, to running away from home before she was old enough to take care of herself. Hers has been a life where you know your destination and you make a commitment to get their even if it means suffering from an obsessive compulsion to open leg to the people that open doors to greatness.
As Marilyn Munroe said; “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” This speaks more about Huddah as a person and her character.
The boss Lady is a crazy drama queen with delusions of grandeur. She compares her life to celebrities and cannot exercise any executive control over her insane emotions, expecting others to just “deal with it” and pick up the pieces. Conventional a**hole game will get you far in the feature film of Huddah’s life, but you will never be more than a supporting character. Huddah can rationalize anything. Huddah has an unapologetic character; she will never come out and apologize for living her life on her own terms and choosing to capitalize on her image as the Sexpot of Kenya.
But Huddah Munroe has ridden the cock carousel. She used Prezzo to climb to fame, dumped him, and then jumped to Jaguar thus bringing up the beef between the two artistes. Of late, she’s been invited to South Africa where this time round, King Lawrence beat her to her game. She’s definitely beautiful. I think she is more revered for her feminine sexuality and sensual demeanor than her looks. If you look at her photos, her eyes say “come bend me over and f–k me”. But she rode the cock carousel, is hypergamous and still rides it. She is an icon to many a Kenyan young girls.
Huddah Munroe’s legacy will always revolve around her affairs with famous men and controversy generated by her sexually explicit photos and videos. The thing with Huddah is that it’s hard to disconnect the fame and notoriety that we all know is associated with her from her objective raw beauty. Unlike Zari, Huddah has fantastic legs.
Huddah grew up poor, with four step brothers and a stepfather. She was mistreated as a child, thus forced to run away from home. This is coupled with the fact that she never got to see her real dad and understand the meaning of having a father. She’s carved out an image for herself as Kenya’s iconic sex symbol.
And like Marilyn Munroe, Huddah has also had a history with drugs overuse. She later went into rehab and the effect saw her lose a lot of weight that generated rumours as to whether she was HIV positive. One of the indicators of a fem-centric society is the empowerment of uniquely female failings and the fluid reengineering of net negatives into net positives. This is the very reason the sprouting of Huddah Munroe was expected.
And for all her life, Huddah has lived by this adage; “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
According to her, she finds it difficult to come to terms with women putting her life under the radar and making wild allegations about her. “Honestly, I don’t understand why women have to be the ones hating all the damn time. If you think my vagina is giving me the life I live then why don’t you use your vagina too to get a life instead of hating?” she said.
The Big Brother star, who dated Kenyan rapper and Big Brother Africa StarGame star Prezzo, wondered why people who claim she is broke will be concerned about what she does;
“Today I feel like addressing some peasants here… Yah! We all know that gossip! Huddah has NO house, NO car, No man LOOOL! I don’t understand why bi**es (you know urselves) who think they have made it in life still follow a broke person’s life! Where I come from, a rich person is never bothered by a poor person’s life! But since you know u ain’t any better you have a small mind with a negative bank account that discuss people LOOL! Let a broke ni**a be and mind your own “Rich” lifestyles h**s!”
Huddah Monroe posted of a photograph of a ramshackle house she grew up in and said she was proud to have moved on from there to become successful.
“This is where I grew up and I am very Proud! We haven’t even demolished this house coz it’s a Museum, holds a lot of memories. I’m thankful some of us don’t look like where we came from and we don’t pretend to be who we are NOT! All the rich people I used to know when I was young are all broke! It’s better to start from Rags than being born with a Silver spoon and learn to make it out here with no worries! This place taught me a lot and that’s why I am who I am right now! #F**kYourOpinions,” she said.
And to the rest of Africa, Huddah’s story is not one to be told looking forwards, it can only be told looking backwards. How all the dots in her life connect to give her the life that many African girls are dying to have…she may not have the brains, but she has the instinct to use the most prized possession on a woman in order to get that which she wants. To the boss lady, Huddah Munroe, much love.