By Ian Ortega
If you are looking for a girl, manage to vibe her and finally she accepts you, take care of how she has saved your number in the phone-book. These Ugandan girls are so crafty. Here are a few hints to how you may be saved:
1. Charcoal Stall: They usually save dark-skinned guys in such a way. If you are tall, dark-skinned and slender, she may as well save you as, Afande Abeka.
2. Pastor: If you over recite verses in her presence, if the only conversations you have with her are always about God, then she will save your number as pastor. This helps her to remember which guy has called when the phone rings.
3. Counselor: Brother, if your number was saved as counselor, then you are really in the friend-zone. She sees you as a friend, someone to tell all about her problems. You are her listening ear. Act quickly and break free.
4. Mechanic: Why should a girl without a car have a mechanic’s number? If she’s ever calling you when she has a problem, when she has lost a relative, when she’s having an emergency, then your number may be saved as mechanic.
5. Cab Driver: This is for those guys with cars that vibe her, she will always save your number and call you when she needs a car to get somewhere. You are just on special-hire. You have no future with her except being her driver.
6. Gynecologist: Now this is how some of us are saved. The Ian Ortegas of this world. Our bed-room skills are unchallenged. So we are saved with such prestigious titles. When the Brians fail to satisfy her, be assured, next day, she will be dialing the gynecologist’s number.
7. Screw Driver: This is for guys who just keep yearning for stuff from her. You screw her life, her body parts and her wallet. You are always visiting her during lunch time and supper time, so she’s just tired of your face. You are a screw-driver. The only thing you know how to give is good-sex.
8. Reverend/Missionary: This is for the religious guys who can’t stand other sex styles and positions. She sees you as a life-partner, a potential husband only that you’re not yet so cool for the moment.
9. Capital Shoppers/Nakumatt/Shoprite: They will save your number in this form if they keep siphoning money and material out of you. She sees you as a super market. Every time she visits you, she leaves with something. For example, today she leaves with a DVD player, tomorrow she takes the micro-wave oven.
10. Teacher Edwin: You are there to teach her about life, nothing much. You teach her about love, teach her about the cool hang-out places but she doesn’t consider anything more than that.
11. Brother Stuart: You are her brother, never dream of getting sex from her. In fact, when with you, she will never talk about this topic.
12. Uncle/daddy/Papa: These are numbers for the sugar daddies, the big monies driving expensive fuel guzzlers.
13. Stress-Pills/Comedians: This is for the guys who are so funny, who always leave her in stitches laughing out loud. They crack many jokes to the extent that even when these guys ask her for sex, she thinks it’s a joke.
14. Stress: Like the name, you stress her life, you bring stress to everything she does. She will never pick up the phone when you call.
15. Venom/Asylum/Amnesia: This is for the guys who know all about hanging out and buying the beers. She loves you for this.
16. Super-Glue: Don’t think she’s glued to you, she’s only saved you as this because you are stingy, you have glue in your hands. You never release your money. Brother, learn to fund the girl. Things be no cheap o.
17. Honey/Sugar/Sweetheart/ Honey-bunny/Chocolate Cake: Better rejoice if she’s saved your name in such a way, she really loves you and you should never lose her.
18. Your Real name: If she’s saved you with your real name, two things are right. One, she loves you, but she does not want people to know about it because you look weird or incomplete in some way. Secondly, she does not love you, but she does-not know how to tell you.
19. Number not saved: You have no role in her phone-book. She would rather keep saying she lost her phone every time. She can’t waste her phone memory on a useless dog like you.
20. BigEye.ug/BigLips/BigStick: If your name has Big added to it, then there is something big about you that she likes. She either likes your big eyes, your big ears, your big stick or your big stupidity.
21. ADD OTHERS….
