By Ian Ortega
Since everyone has been complaining about the Economy, like it’s some kind of disease, we thought of letting you know how to make a million dollars (about 2 billion Uganda shillings) in a year. So here are some of the different ways:
1. Detooth A White Pensioner
You all know Bad Black, right? Well, if you are a lady, begin to hang out in the places where these white men hang out. Look at them with those wonderful eyes and when you get a chance to show them your bedroom skills, do it like your Ssenga told you, before you know it all, he will have wired a million dollars to your bank account or even more and you will have made your dollars. If you can master your game well, you can be able to make this money in less than 6 months. Read books like: “How I went from a pauper to a Princess overnight” by Prof. Bad Black.
2. Detooth the Lady who detoothed a Pensioner
Do you know someone called Meddie? Well, he wrote a book titled; “The Art of Deduction, how to detooth a detoother.” Look out for a lady dating a white pensioner and detooth her. You must be very good in bed and handsome like Ortega Ian to succeed in this art. The only risk is that you may be imprisoned but it will only last for only a year and you will be out.
3. Go to South Africa
Well, if you have ever watched a Nigerian movie or played a role of a witch during the drama plays in your former school then you will manage once you get to South Africa. Go to South Africa, become a traditional healer and in no time, you will be dating women like Zari, Juliana, Leila Kayondo and Sharon O. You can make the million dollars in less than 8 months using the South African script.
4. Date a Ugandan Living in South Africa
It has worked for Zari, it has worked for Leila Kayondo. Date a sangoma from South Africa and make it clear it’s a friend for benefits arrangement, give him things, as he opens his wallet.
5. Oppose the Government
Begin to rabidly criticize the government, most especially the President. Say it without fear or favour and when the opportunity comes, jump onto the ship. You can ask people like Tamale, a proud owner of over 50 taxis in Kampala at the moment.
With those few tips, you will stand a chance of making a Million dollars in Uganda in less than a year. These are proven steps. They are guaranteed to work even when you don’t want them to work.
To learn more
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ortegaiancom
Twitter: @OrtegaUganda
“[katogoaward]”