So this week is work Sally’s birthday, next week is high school Sally’s, and you are accompanying your girlfriend to both! What – she just wants you to know her friends
Also her best friend is in on a lot of secrets and is probably constantly weighing in on your life decisions, whether you know it or not!
And ohh – the many, many stories about why X is not friends with Y anymore because Z dumped X for Y or why the five people on the other side of the table weren’t really enjoying the game because they had embarrassed the s**t out of themselves the last time are a regular part of dinner conversation!
And yes, oftentimes, you may have to change that reservation for two to five coz well, you know she couldn’t say no to her bff and her bestie and another girl whom she doesn’t quite like but can tolerate for her bff’s sake!
But is dating a girl with lots of friends all that bad??
Look at the perks – you can have a lot of guys’ nights coz well, she’d be having those girl night-outs pretty often!
Your bros would love you all the more when you introduce them to her gal pals! And the next time, you have to notch up that reservation from two to five, you’d enjoy it coz your bros are in with her besties!
Her equation with her guy friends shall make you more trusting, accommodating, and maybe a tad bit possessive (but that’s okay! In fact, kind of nice) because you’d pitch in all the effort needed and she’d appreciate the trust you extend! As such, she’d always gravitate toward you! Downside – you could turn into a jealous, crazy maniacal dude bathed in insecurity too – watch out!
She values her relationships – you have the litmus test results staring you in the face!
You will have a lot of parties, group treks, outdoorsy adventures, and you will love her all the more! Why? Because what more could you want in a girl who has food as bae, can hold her alcohol, can be ‘one of the guys,’ and the ‘glam girl’ at whim and can be friend, playmate, and lover all rolled-in-one!
Plus, you know she can’t be mad because you have gal pals or need to rush to your man cave with your bros!
So, how to date a girl that sounds TOO good to be true? How to date a girl who has a train of friends that tag along but is worth befriending each one in the train? How to date a girl who has as many gal pals as guy friends and yet, never ever puts her relationship with you on the back burner? How to date a girl who is the girl you want, albeit comes with a soon-to-be-a-doozy-wedding-guest-list-planning warning? 😉
I will tell you. I have the perfect list of dating tips for men who wish to date a woman who has TOOOOO many friends:
1. Make an earnest effort to befriend her pals
Do this. She will appreciate the fact that you want to get to know her friends better and are willing to socialize with them! Getting pally with her guy friends shall help them know you are serious about keeping her in your life and also ward off any covert hopes that any of them might harbor about replacing you. However, do not act jealous and insecure – get in on jokes, know about their lives, and become pals! On the other hand, getting her gal pals to like you always helps when you need a good word put through to her on your behalf, plan surprises (or maybe a proposal), and well, the fact that whatever ‘words of love’ you speak about her shall inevitably be relayed to her. You know how women work, don’t you? 😉
2. Do not feel threatened or intimidated
It isn’t a competition. You are the one she’s set her heart on and showers all her love upon – her friends are inhabitants of a different friend-sy chamber of her heart! And it isn’t like it is locked – you are allowed entry there and can see for yourself how happy she is with them, oftentimes discussing the developments of your relationship with her! So, take a breather, dude and give her hers!
3. There shall be a ‘test’ on how you treat her friends
Her relationship with her best friends is as important as the ties with her family. And while she does not expect you to be best friends with them, being friends is an absolute must-have. She cannot have the most important people in her life not stand each other! So, if you treat her like a princess, ensure you extend a part of the royal treatment toward her friends too- coz well, if all goes well, you will be part of each other’s lives forever! So, it is a test you just have to pass!
4. Accept the situation with grace
Accept the fact that she has a lot of friends and that means she is constantly striving to maintain a perfect balance between you and her friends, alongside juggling other aspects of work and life! Get on board with it and respect her for it. If you have qualms about not being alone with her friends’ boyfriends or the fact that you cannot get to be alone with her on her birthday, communicate. There is nothing better than ironing out the creases of the attire you wish to don for a lifetime! Just avoid the blame-game and tell her that you know how much her friends mean to her but you’d like to partake more of her time! Which brings me to….
5. Set the boundaries
If she has a group of guy friends some of whom are her exes and you aren’t quite comfortable with the level of familiarity, talk it out with her. Set down boundaries and ask her to enforce them. Similarly, if ‘quality-time’ becomes an issue owing to the strain that ‘excessive’ time with friends is putting on your equation, discuss it. Remember, in all cases, that ‘familiarity’ or ‘excessive’ time with gal pals are all relativistic and she might think you are wanting to change the way she has lived until now. So, be extra careful about how you word it, avoid the blame-game, and settle upon a practical and viable solution to your concerns. If there is something about her behavior that upsets you, tell her about your feelings instead of saying ‘I hate it when you …’ It’s half the battle won!
6. Get her pals on your side
Now this is something that you must do on your own. The tactics – all yours. The reasons – I will tell you. A girl always welcomes a guy who comes pre-approved by her set of friends. This not only reaffirms her own good judgment but also ensures her that there would not be a problem in the future about her being close to her pals or about the man in her life not getting along with them! Plus, we already told you how getting an insider’s access shall benefit you in numerous ways! Just make sure you aren’t really venting about her ohh-so-annoying-qualities that get on your nerves! Coz THAT will reach her too! As for the rest, it is pretty much a win-win!
7. Assimilate her in your gang too
Now this can backfire. She may tell you that she loves your roommate from college who still follows the once-in-a-week-shower rule, your best friend who insists on singing in his not-so-melodious voice every time you hang out, the one who got dumped by thirteen chicks in five years and therefore, is a talking-walking sexist-slang machine, and not to forget, the sleazeball who checks her out on the sly every time you leave to get everyone another round! And well, you don’t have to be a genius to piece it together. But given that she has such a massive group of her own – she might just ease into your group like ‘just another guy.’ And then, you could down beer bottles, watch your favorite team beat the s**t outta the opponent (whilst she is wearing the team jersey!!), and even discuss the match, talk of your lame rock band in college and have your bros give you a thumbs-up while she gets up to get some more sandwiches!! Ohh, you are grinning now, eh? Why wouldn’t you – coz THAT’s the DREAM!
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