FIVE SIGNS THAT YOU’RE DATING A KYAMBOGO BABE

By Sam Ugandan

5. NET-BALL: Netball is generally considered a local game so if the belle you’re dating plays or is a huge fan of Netball then its very likely she is from Kyambogo University.

4. LOCAL SWAGG: If she still puts on a half petty in this day and age, just know she is a local belle. Those things were worn by our grand mothers to protect what is inside but now, we are in a new era: the panty-less era. She still smears herself with vaseline before going to bed, she never applies make up but when she does, she ends up looking like a ghost.

3. HAND-KERCHIEF:  If she still keeps make up, phone, money et al. in the hanky, well, just know that you are dating a local chic from Banda, perhaps.

2. PLOT: Her version of plot is chilling at your place all weekend or worse she talks about shows like Ekigunda kyo mwaka, Engule ya Radio Simba.

1. SPEECH: Bebe cool in his song titled “Kamwako” said that whatever you say reflects whats in your heart or who you really are. If you surely want to know that she is a very local babe, she’ll enjoy using the words “mukwano, sweet ndekamu, tugende tukole omukwano“. If you go to the restaurant with her she’ll ask for chips, chicken ne enkoko.

PS: We are not trying to insinuate anything. Kyambogo is gifted with plenty of beautiful and intelligent ladies. This piece is merely satire and nothing more. Of course, you know we love you KYU ladies.